The Memory Keeper

They say 3 moves purges as much stuff as a fire. I’m testing that theory this summer.

I moved last summer to what I knew would be temporary housing, grateful to sell my suburban home and trade it for a tiny rental in a unique small-town within a big city. This year, we are moving again and long story short, will be required to move twice.

Generally speaking, I am not a hoarder, my clothes fit into a small closet, I don’t own many knickknacks. Yet one exception proves this rule, my box upon box of keepsakes. From magazines and newspapers sharing the date of my children’s birthdays to notes they wrote to thousands and thousands of pictures, I have stored enough memories to create an archive. Difficult to part with, each item holds a special irreplaceable moment for me or my child and I am scared I will regret getting rid of them.

This move I have vowed will be different. As I delve into my thoughts about why I insist on keeping these things, I realize that somehow I believe it is my job, my duty so-to-speak, to be the family archivist/historian. I am the one responsible for taking a million adorable pictures of them, for blogging or scrapbooking every cute moment. Will they think I have failed them as a mother when I don’t have their kindergarten report card? Will they think I didn’t love them if I don’t save their macaroni necklace made in primary or the funny note they left me on their whiteboard? Will they believe they never crawled, danced, kicked a ball if there’s not video documentation?

I can’t part with the idea that I SHOULD be doing these things, so I keep the stuff for when I finally do.

Is my self-assigned duty a gender role on steroids do we all have things we believe we should be doing, regardless of whether we want to or have time, talent and energy resources to accomplish them?

Either way, enough is enough this move and the “fire” is forcing me to thin my stash.

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