Our guest post today is by Kendahl, a voice you’ll have heard around D&S regularly. As well as watching fantastic films and commenting at D&S, Kendahl has a blogging home at ‘The Exponent’.
How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray’r accepted, and each wish resign’d …
— Alexander Pope, from ‘Eloisa to Abelard’
We all occasionally construct protective layers around our emotions, convinced that forgetting will negate the trouble of pain, the complications of connecting. If the world forgets, leaving behind a nice black and white shell, one is safe from risk, safe from leaps of faith, safe from wishing. But is that how we want to live?
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is an unforgettable film, a twisting and turning timeline full of snapshots from Joel and Clementine’s circuitous and sometimes explosive relationship. Like two ions affixed to each other, sometimes volatile, they create a constant underlying threat of chemical reaction. They belong together, but sometimes they don’t. They push each other both into new territory and away from each other when emotionally threatened. Undeniable connection plays out in dreamland surreality, anchored by the impeccable performances of the main characters. Kate Winslet and Jim Carrey are a perfect match, anchoring the sprawling storyline with their emotional gravity.
Clementine lives life out loud, pushing her boundaries and everyone else’s. She loves quickly and, when filled with the pain of her relationship with Joel, can cut him out overnight by erasing her memories of being together. Joel retaliates in kind, realizing during the procedure that he has made a terrible decision.
What is dream and what is memory? Without thinking Clementine and Joel manage to find each other, not directly running towards one another, but by piecing together moments pulled from anywhere. Distracted by life and pain and Lacuna, Inc.’s promises of a pristine, pain-free mind, Joel and Clem eventually choose to come closer. After orbiting back-to-back, they manage to rotate and see each other. Their memories are painful, but are they acceptable? Do they provide a catalyst for the next phase of their relationship? Do they move on together, or apart?
“Sometimes we need the bad memories in order to still have the good.”
One of my favorite teachings from my LDS upbringing is the concept of ‘opposition in all things’. For me, it still evokes images of a living a full and rich life, having experienced both sides of a myriad of human experiences. While facing something difficult, I can remind myself of the growth I will achieve during the process of pain and suffering. When enjoying a time of life full of happiness, I can remind myself that I wouldn’t feel so happy if I hadn’t experienced negative and difficult experiences to compare them to. But which came first? Do I compare happiness to sadness, or sadness to happiness? Does it matter? I find I experience one, then the other, and the polarity becomes greater as I grow older? Life becomes richer as I notice more texture in pain, more color in elation, more stillness in my days.
Emotionally withdrawn Joel sees this in his sleep, which awakens the fight inside him. He dreams his way through each of his Clementine memories, frantically trying to outwit the procedure before Clementine is ‘lost and gone forever’. She is pulled from him in reverse, starting with the end of their relationship and moving back to the happier beginning. Lines of thinking and linear time become twisted, coming full circle at the end of the film. The first lines of the movie echo in the words Joel and Clementine say to each other the last time we see them. They still don’t know each other.
Joel: I can’t see anything that I don’t like about you.
Clementine: But you will! But you will. You know, you will think of things. And I’ll get bored with you and feel trapped because that’s what happens with me.
Joel: Okay.
Clementine: [pauses] Okay.
That pause is hopeful to me.
NEXT WEEK: Helen will explore the haunting and beautiful ‘Revolutionary Road’ (2008). For a more extended schedule, check in here.
We saw this movie when it first came out. As is often the case, I didn’t love it, but Brent did. He saw it twice! I’ll have to go watch it again now, Kendahl.
I also love the idea of needing opposition–needing to see and experience the “bad” in order to appreciate the “good” (although I also hate to frame things in binary terms). And I feel like I’m in the middle of this as a parent. How much do I shelter/protect my kids from “the bad”? Oh, sure, there are things I want to protect them from, but they need to experience life as well, right?
Yes, the binary aspect is useful but not true all the time. I just like the simplicity of working within that framework and then venturing out of it as I please :)
As far as kids go, I tend to think less in terms of “bad” and “good” these days preferring to ask “is it age appropriate”. Sex isn’t bad, but watching it as a 5-year-old is. Swearing isn’t bad, but using profanity too young or in the wrong situation is. Etc…I think they really do need experiences, but they don’t always need to go through something to understand it. I hope I can convince them of that in the teenage years! I wouldn’t mind if my kids experimented, as long as they were old enough and responsible about it. It’s hard to find that balance, there’s no hard and fast rule i.e. “on your 18th birthday it’s magically okay to have sex!” I guess I will just hope for the best and try to always be approachable to them.
Haven’t seen it, but I just saw that it’s on instant play! We’re having an “at home” date night, so maybe that’s what we’ll watch. Sounds fascinating. I have a love/hate relationship with dream sequence/trippy type films, but your review makes it sound worth the risk, Kendahl.
Yes! I’m glad to entice you. I hope you enjoy it. As dream sequence/trippy type films go, this is a VERY well-done version. Let me know what you think tomorrow.
And I forgot to mention in the OP that it’s on instant queue in Netflix. I would link to it, but I’m not sure how to use the tags. I’ll try:
Darn, didn’t work!
Kendahl, I enjoyed the movie and I enjoyed your review and I think I’ll now have to enjoy the movie yet one more time again because of your elegantly written piece.
I’ve rejected many good times that were inextricably tied to a past relationship only to find that now I can reclaim them and enjoy them. That’s a great thing to learn.
Thank you Ed, you are too kind :)
One of my favorite movies! Thanks
This is one of my favorite movies. I can relate to it on a number of levels. I had a person in my life with whom I continually intertwined and tried to make it work out – with moments of great pain in between. At times I wished I could forget him entirely. I don’t feel that way now. I appreciate the good times and learned a lot about myself and life from the not so good times.
We watched it last night, and I think I’m still processing it. Your review did a lot to help me see more in certain places than I would have. And I liked it more than I thought I would, but there is something that seemed to be missing from it. Almost as though the memories were missing something (as memories often do). What I took from that was that yes, we need the bad memories in order to have the good, but in looking back we miss important pieces. Pieces that were there in the moment, but that we can’t remember in reflection, that help understanding and connection. Good reminder to me to stay in the present.
Easily one of the best films of the ’00s. And time should only enhance its reputation and acclaim.
Agreed. One of my favorites.
I like the way the movie approaches how subjective our memories are. There is what happened and the story we tell ourselves about it, but there is also mystery — the irrational chemistry that brings Clem and Joel back together. I think there is an element of that in all romances.
Lovely post Kendahl! This might be the movie I would take with me to a deserted island to watch over and over.
There are so many levels that you can relate to– on both an emotional and human level. We’ve all wished negative experiences didn’t happen to us, but its impossible to separate ourselves from those experiences. And I love how this film leads you to feel like, those sad or negative parts of your life are what make you vulnerable, wise and beautiful. Love, love, love this film! Thanks!!
We watched this film tonight (my second viewing) and I really enjoyed it. Interesting it’s link to Dollhouse that I have just started watching. This idea of being able to remove certain memories, but not the connections that were made with people during those memories. Our brains are so complicated, I love to watch films that remind me of that.