Women, the Priesthood, and the Cookie Jar

cookies450My wife, Heather Olson Beal, Tom Grover, and Ralph Hancock, a political science professor at BYU, recently participated in a  Mormon Stories podcast that addressed the role of women in the church).   Inadvertently, I believe, Mr. Hancock laid bare the issue in a profound way.   Here’s is what he said (at 27:40 in the podcast):  

Naturally I could unfold a whole different world view from Heather, just based on the points that I’ve heard there, but let me try to be as brief as possible. . . I notice in both Tom’s and Heather’s language, decision making, power structures, I mean. . . the question who is in charge of decisions. I see a great tendency to translate the question of whether God loves men and women equally into a sameness of function with respect to. . . huh. . . public. . . huh. . . policy-related power.   First of all, I mean one would have to. . . who is making the decision?  Do we not believe in the Lord’s guidance of the decision-making process?   But in any case, I see this as an unwholesome concentration on political. . .power. . .as the validation, as some kind of spiritual validation, which seems to me to be an unfortunate distortion [emphasis added].

It’s a fascinating statement (and admission) from  Mr. Hancock.   First a little background (just to set the stage).   When women in the church start talking about gender inequality (e.g. http://www.ldswave.org/?page_id=83), one of the first arguments that always gets paraded out in response is that men and women are “different” and that feminists (and their allies) are somehow engaged in an unnatural (and unholy) effort to make men and women “the same.”

Notice that  Mr. Hancock  introduces this carefully as “sameness of function.”

This is a dumb argument.   Feminists (and others who care about gender equality) don’t want men and women to be the same.   When my wife puts on lingerie, neither of us is the least bit interested in “sameness” (just the opposite, it’s the differences that are the most interesting).   I don’t want to birth babies.   She’s not disappointed by her inability to produce sperm.   We’re not interested in parenting in the same way.   We both recognize that men and women are different in a thousand ways that often influence how men and women communicate, the careers they choose, the way they form and maintain relationships, etc.   I can safely say, from experience, that gender equality has nothing to do with “sameness.”

Well, that’s not true.   Of all the ways in which men and women are different, feminists (and their allies) are committed to “sameness” in one respect: Men and women should be equal (or the same) when it comes to control over their lives and their ability to influence the social institutions in which they participate.   That’s what women’s suffrage was about.   That’s what the long struggle for women’s rights, in general, has been about.   That’s what we’re talking about when we raise the issue of  gender inequality in the Mormon church.

Back to Mr. Hancock.

He correctly identifies the crux of the issue (participation in the decision-making processes of the church), and then he starts down the path of criticizing the notion that God intends for men and women to be the “same.”   “I see a great tendency,” he says, “to translate the question of whether God loves men and women into a sameness of function.”

So far, so good.   He’s trotted out the notion that men and women are the same like an old show horse.   “Clearly,” you can almost here him saying to the crowd, “men and women are not ‘the same,’ ergo I win the argument (and the feminists are crazy).”

But then he does something that one should never do when debating gender equality.   He tries to define what he means by “sameness.”

“. . . sameness of function with respect to. . .”

As I was listening, time seemed to slow down a bit.

“with respect to. . .”

He hesitates.   He’s not sure what word to use.

“. . . uh”

He’s doing his best to find a way to say what he’s thinking without being offensive.

“. . . public. . . uh. . .”

He decides that a few adjectives might provide some cover.

“policy-related power.”

And there it is.   It’s like the show horse that he’s has been parading around the arena just stopped and took a leisurely bowel movement on Mr. Hancock’s shoes.

We’re talking about power, and in the Mormon church, men have all the power (and women have none).   We don’t like to frame it that way.   We like to talk about how men and women are equal partners (as long as it’s understood that men “preside”).   We rely on clichés, telling ourselves that men may be the head, but women are the neck (and then pretend we don’t all know that it’s the head that controls the neck, not the other way around).

Perhaps the best example of this kind of doublespeak is from M. Russell Ballard in a recent talk titled “Let Us Think Straight” http://speeches.byu.edu/?act=viewitem&id=2133).   He says that he want to “pay tribute to the faithful women and young women of the Church today” but then follows with this: “While your input is significant and welcomed in effective councils, you need to be careful not to assume a role that is not yours.”

In other words, feel free to offer us (men) advice, but be sure to remember who is in charge (men).

I laughed out loud at Mr. Hancock’s next sentence.   He sputters a bit, trying to get some traction: “First of all, I mean one would have to. . . who is making the decision?”  Then he spits it out: “Do we not believe in the Lord’s guidance of the decision-making process?”

I have this image of Mr. Hancock as a boy getting caught by his mother with his hand in the cookie jar.   “But mom, it’s not me, God made me do it.”

Right.

I wish for two things.   I wish we’d acknowledge that gender inequality in  the Mormon church  is a  serious problem.   And I wish we’d stop blaming God for it.

[For another exchange with Mr. Hancock, see this old Mormon in the Cheap Seats post: https://dovesandserpents.org/2012/04/26-mcs-mormonism-lite/]