Have you ever written a family mission statement? I’m not big on self-help books (with the exception of the mountain of parenting books I read when my kids were babies/toddlers/pre-schoolers). It’s not that I don’t think I need help because I do, of course. (That much is painfully obvious.) I just don’t like the tone of those type of books. A few years back, however, I picked up a book called The Family Manager’s Guide for Working Moms by Kathy Peel. When I read the back of the book (“If you’re a working mother who’s about to crash and burn out, hang on”), I felt like the book was calling my name!
In the first few pages of the book, Peel offers advice about writing a family mission statement. After studying business mission statements, Peel came up with this list of questions that she adapted for families:
- Why does our family exist?
- What are we trying to accomplish?
- What do we stand for? What do we as a family believe in?
- What is our basic approach to achieving our purpose?
- What would I like my family to say about me when I’m gone?
- What is really important to us?
Peel says you should also consider what you do NOT want your family and home to be: “a fast-food drive-through, where family members rush in, grab a bite to eat and clean clothes, ask for money, exchange a few words, and rush out again” (pg. 10-11). Whoa! Does Kathy Peel moonlight as a private detective? Sounds like she’s been casing our house.
The idea is that you go through this list of questions (adding and subtracting as you like) and actually draft a family mission statement. According to Laurie Beth Jones (author of The Path: Creating Your Mission Statement), a good mission statement “should be no more than a single sentence long, should be easily understood by a twelve-year old, and should be able to be recited by memory at gunpoint.”
I keep thinking about the phrase “If you aim at nothing, chances are you’ll hit it.” Are we aiming at nothing? I don’t like the sound of that, but I’m not sure what we’re aiming for. I think I’d like to go through this mission-statement-writing process with my kids and articulate what matters to us as a family, but can’t decide if it’s gimmicky or worthwhile.
Has anyone ever done this? Was it cool or did it fall flat?
I was thinking about this a lot with the new year . . . about the goals I set for myself and my students especially. I guess since I’m such a list doer and achiever . . . I’m kind of learning to live in the moment and enjoy my life. So my mission statement is not to have a mission but enjoy the journey. And even that. . . I turn into a mission. LOL.
#1 Must laugh more
#2 Must play more
#3 Must refer to #1 and #2 everyday to remind myself that life is good
Good luck to everyone and their mission statements for themselves and the ones they love. May you get what you want; and want what you get. Happy New Year!
, but can’t decide if it’s gimmicky or worthwhile.
There’s nothing wrong with a gimmick that works for you.
I like what you said, Angie. I used to be into self-help books, but I’ve turned against them a bit… I think it’s that kind of goal-orientated approach that I’ve largely rejected as a kind of progressivism that too easily blinds us to the chance joys of life. The truth is probably a hybrid of both this approach and its balance, however.
Why does she study business mission statements, though? It always seems to me that self-help is primarily aimed at a corporate-minded audience. Unless we want our families to run like businesses, why should this be a help? Perhaps someone should study poetry or music, and come up with a statement formed from those findings! :)
What a great question, Andy, re: why businesses. We do have such a corporate mentality. If a business does it, then it must be good/wise/smart, right? I didn’t even think about that.
When I taught high school, we had a mission statement. I used to cringe when we had to recite it at faculty meetings, but I’ve never forgotten it. It was: “To educate the hearts and minds of students for life.”
I still like the idea of sitting down as a family and talking through what we believe in, what we aspire to, where we’re going, etc. I think the discussion would be fruitful even if you didn’t agree on an official “statement.”
For what it’s worth, I love the idea. A while back I found myself randomly on the home page of The Eyre Family, a model Mormon Family that makes your eyes roll only our of jealous. They really are worth modeling. Their family motto is “Broaden and Contribute” I thought those were two pretty effective words, especially together. They say so much. Can my family copy the Eyre Family and still have it be The Merback Family Motto?:) Please say “Yes”!! I think it’s helpful for kids to have something short and punchy to refer back to as both a family and individual guide.
Yeah! “Broaden and contribute.” That sounds great to me. Our kids are old enough to contribute to creating one, I think. We haven’t tried it yet, though . . .
Ha, I’ve been joking all week (even before reading this) that our family motto is “Don’t be a butthole”.
Jessica, that is hilarious! That’s a very well through-through family motto. ;)
How about “Volo non valeo” which means “willing but not able”. Although, I guess that’s more of a motto than a mission statement.