February 21 was the day I decided to do something about it. I’d spent several months pondering over what I considered an ethical dilemma- how to respond to requests for help or money from people on streetcorners on my daily commute. This is compounded by the fact that my sweet children- who often commute with me- ask a lot of questions. Why can’t he build a house like you and Daddy did for us? Why doesn’t he/she have money? Why are they outside with no coat?
So- we made, assembly-line style, 12 bagged lunches. I tried not to agonize too much about what to put in them- I basically let the kids pick out a variety of things that would be easy to eat and could be stored in the car.We picked up some public transportation passes and also included a list of local resources.
And then we gave them away. Stay tuned.
Man, I so get that dilemma!
I’m interested in your update. I’ve found some people very happy to get food, some not. More and more people seem to be grateful for the food whereas before they did not seem to be.
I’m really going to love this column. My mind is already trying to figure out what I can do, especially with my kids, to make a difference. I love how you faced this dilemma by taking action – and not worrying about whether it was the right action or how it would be received. Kind of like, “Here I am – and I’m doing SOMETHING!” I’m inspired to go do something myself!
Stephen- thanks for your interest. As my project has gone on, I’ve started to mind less and less about what the reaction to my offering is, as I’ve become more mindful of what my intentions are. Hope you’ll stick around for the ride- it starts here Thursday!
I’m with Laurie, my mind is already spinning with ideas of how to contribute in small, meaningful, manageable ways. I can’t wait to hear what happened with your family Claire.
Me too… I really feel that these posts will inspire us all to not just think and talk about our spiritual journeys – but make a difference in our various parts of the world.
Thanks for sharing your adventure with us, Claire!
Claire, I’m interested to see where this experiment takes you. As a person who has beggars knock on my door and ask for money (repeatedly), gets almost accosted in parking lots, etc., by strange men who won’t stop hounding you until you physically walk away, I have a real dilemma with helping folks who are begging. I’ve started telling people, ‘I can’t help you, please call United Way – they will get you the help you *really* need.’ Then again, I’ve also passed along a spare granola bar or some baby carrots when I’ve had them to one of the ever-present and rotating homeless men on the freeway exit ramp to my house. When you are surrounded by such poverty daily, when you live in what what is the best way to *really* make an impact? What am I going to tell my kids when they start to notice? When you live in a neighborhood where various ‘organizations’ often come before the neighborhood association to ask about putting in yet another halfway house, drug rehabilitation outreach, homeless shelter, etc., when the homeowners don’t want them, what do you do? Or do we just say ‘screw it all, I’m moving to the suburbs?’ :) I really do look forward to reading your posts. Congrats on the new blog!
That is a really good idea. When we’ve had a bit extra, we’ve kept gift cards for the local grocer in the car. We work hard for the few dollars we can spare and I’ll be honest right up front that I am sometimes judgmental about who is begging (especially if the smell of alcohol). I really want my contributions to be used for food, clothing, shelter and beneficial things, rather than drugs and alcohol. I will buy blankets for the Red Cross and we give to the local Veteran’s Post and Food Bank. They do a great job of keeping track of the vets who don’t get along so well on their own and make sure they have the things they need. The local women’s shelter is also on our list.
JC, thanks for sharing what your family is doing. I really like the idea of a grocery store gift card. Thanks for being honest about your feelings, as well. I think it’s important to recognize the discomfort we have. I know for me, some of it comes from ‘judgementalism’ and some of it comes from a place of wanting to be genuinely helpful, and suspecting that a few measly dollars here and there just really don’t seem to be.
I had a really eye opening moment once in a discussion with my sister-in-law about her (and my husband’s) dying grandmother, a closet drinker. My sister-in-law had been helping clean out her home when she was put in a hospice facility, and found copious empty small liquor bottles, and a few full ones. She had snuck a few of the full ones into the care facility in her pocket and slipped them to Nana. I was shocked, SHOCKED I tell you. Alcohol! To a sick old lady! But my sister-in-law was totally non-plussed. There was no love lost between the two women- she wasn’t a cuddly grandma figure. But my sister-in-law figured she must be really missing her liquor, and she was DYING for Pete’s sake- how could it hurt? If I was dying, I might need a drink as well. With the moral implications removed, it became an act of mercy.
Now, I don’t want my ‘hard-earned’ money spent on alcohol, either, and I don’t put airline sized liquor bottles in my lunches. But man, if I was on the streets, cold and hungry with no warmth or meal in sight, sick with no hope of a cure, I’d probably need a drink too.
VirtualM- thanks for stopping by. So many great questions. I hope we can go through some of them in this little corner of the internet.
You have such a unique perspective… I’m especially interested in your experiences as a homeowner in an urban neighborhood and the whole ‘NIMBY’ experience you have/see at neighborhood meetings. Would you be willing to write about that and/or some of your other perspectives?
Nothing like kids to goad one into doing good works :-). Thanks for the link to this place.