Tonight I read the last chapter of an abbreviated version of Peter Pan to my 5 year old daughter. This story concludes with Peter looking in through the nursery window as the Darling children joyfully reunite with their parents, who have always left the window open for them to return.
The Darling childrens’ return is precipitated by Peter’s poignant retelling of his own homegoing:
“Long ago,” he said, “I thought like you that my mother would always keep the window open for me, so I stayed away for moons and moons and moons, and then flew back; but the window was barred, for mother had forgotten all about me, and there was another little boy sleeping in my bed.”
The image of a forlorn Peter watching through the windows- both of them- is gut-wrenching to me. I feel like I’ve been on both sides of the window; the adult part of myself holding out hope or feeling finally ready to move on, the child-self contemplating the unjustness of it all.
The nursery window is also the portal into Neverland for the Darling chilren, and another life. One in which they almost forget their family, Nana, the nursery, the comforts of their old home. The joyfully make a new life in Neverland, because they always presume they can return, that the window will be open for them.
Of course in the original version, the story ends with Wendy, a grown and married woman, watching Peter and her daughter Jane fly out the window on her first trip to Neverland, and we are reminded of the cycle of life.
In my own life, I often have trouble gaining the courage to open the window, much less fly out of it. And I certainly have trouble actually shutting any windows. Having lots of choices is a blessing, but it sure can be hard to actually make the choice. I remember feeling physically stressed as a child watching game shows and empathizing with the contestants having to choose “what’s behind door number three?”
What windows are in your life right now? Do you sit back and enjoy the view, or leap regularly, whether or not you have pixie dust?
This is decidedly gut-wrenching, like you said. I do love the imagery of the eternal round though, and though I haven’t read these Peter Pan books, I really would like to. They are so magical, and not in the the typically facile way.
In answer to your question, I like to think that I wait for a particularly good window, one that I cannot imagine not jumping through, and then I go for it!
So poignant! I loved the Peter Pan references and can relate to the challenges of windows! Beautifully sad.