Today’s beautiful Ride to Church(es) comes to us from Amanda Klein Nokleby and Matt Nokleby, who spent Christmas Day 2009 in Scotland and were nice enough to share some of their beautiful pictures with us. They write:
Two years ago we decided to get the hell out of Dodge for Christmas. Our reasons were manifold. First, Matt had recently left the Mormon Church, and we wanted to avoid what was likely to be a stressful family environment. Second, we live in Texas; the thought of a Christmas at 75 degrees was too sad to contemplate. So, with hopes of experiencing something out of a Charles Dickens novel we booked flights for Glasgow. The result was a magical but lonely Christmas among the castles and cathedrals of Scotland, a celebration of religious tradition apart from theological baggage.
The highlight of our trip was the Christmas Eve service at the Dunblane Cathedral. Dunblane is just outside of Stirling, a Victorian-era town that set a perfect Christmas atmosphere. The service itself was bittersweet: The pastor spoke of being “home for Christmas”, a poignant message to two vagabonds in a foreign country. After the sermon the lights were extinguished, and we waited silently in the darkness for the bells to ring in Christmas day. It was a beautiful moment, and it persuaded us never again to spend the holiday away from family if we could avoid it.
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This year is the first time I’ve been by myself without my family. As a result of my refusal to be part of the church any longer, my Mormon parents disowned me. It’s been an interesting journey. As I told my sister – the abuse is over. I refuse to be a part of what I view as a cult (not in a positive way) any longer. In fact, I’m demanding an apology. DEMANDING. The response from my family who are all members of the church has been fascinating. Tolerance is not a lesson that goes down easily with them. I’m pretty sure I’m mostly contacted after a lesson at church about love your family or perhaps after they have to answer the question at the temple interview – do you have unresolved issues with members of your family.
For the last two years, I’ve grown more than I did in the previous 40 as a member. I’ve become quite an activist for social equality and social justice – and found my role in the world. I still love God – but won’t waste anymore time worrying about which hand to take the sacrament with. Organized religion will never be the center of my life again. There is too much to do. I can’t be part fo the pettiness any longer. This morning I will be serving food at the local Catholic Charity with a local democratic group. While I’m sad to not be with my family – because I do love them. God has filled my life – so I don’t cry long.
I unwrapped presents my mom sent to me – interesting gifts, not an apology, but getting closer. I’m waiting for my parents to chose their child – instead of their Bishop.
Angie, I am sorry you are apart from your family. Wishing you peace and healing in the coming year.
What beautiful pictures! You captured so much feeling.
Gorgeous, gorgeous photos. I’ve been to some of these places and you really captured the feeling and romance they evoke.
Angie, I’m sorry you’re in such a painful situation. I hope they do make that choice soon, and that your family can find peace together.
Amanda, I can’t believe how beautiful these photos are. I want to go to that exact town. And I have to admit that right now I understand the desire to get away, even though I love my family dearly and we generally get along quite well. We’re all still fairly young, though, and the kinds of changes we’re going through (with the oldest daughter “drifting,” as I’m sure they see it) are hard to know how to deal with. I don’t at all doubt that I’d regret being away from my family for Christmas, too, but if I’m being honest, I have to say that the idea appeals to me too.
Gorgeous pictures! Thanks for sharing!