Our pilgrimage to the East Coast during my adolescence introduced me to the political energy of Washington DC and the cheese steak of Philadelphia, but I barely even remember seeing New York City. It didn’t rank among favorite places for my parents, so the stop we made there was more memorable for its brevity than anything we saw.
But I clearly remember visiting St. Patrick’s Cathedral. The stunning architecture with stained glass catching the light, I immediately felt an awe-inspiring reverence for God. The flickering of the candles drew me in as if they were the wish at end of a birthday celebration. I didn’t have a lot of ecumenical exposure, so when I found out that money was tied to offering these prayers, I felt a bit angry and self righteous. At MY church you could pray for free, God didn’t “charge” to hear your pleas.
Revisiting this grand majesty as an adult, I was again drawn to the candles, particularly the green ones at the altar for St. Patrick just a few days after the big March celebration. As I circled the chapel I “met” each of the saints and saw what their special place in the history of the church was. I lit three candles with offered prayers:
1. Mary the mother of the Christ: a sincere prayer for the strength to mother the Christlike qualities within myself.
2. Joseph charged with the safe keeping of the Savior and the church: a prayer to honor and strengthen my mind and body, the vessels charged with the keeping of my talents, gifts and life force.
3. St. Patrick: as I recited the prayer from the card, I was reminded of the human oneness expressed through Christ:
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me
Christ in the mouth of every man who speaks to me
Christ in every eye that sees me
Christ in every ear that hears me.
I made this Catholic ritual my own, even if just for a few moments, and I was better because of it. And I paid to pray, without the feelings of resentment and judgment I’d experienced earlier in my life.
I wonder how frequently I misinterpret the role of money with churches as I did as an adolescent. I don’t think Catholics would say you had to pay to pray any more than Mormons would say you have to give God 10% of your income to be sealed to your family, even though tithing is a requirement of entering the temple. Still, I frequently hear experiences of LDS visiting other churches and wincing as the “plate” is passed, as if there’s something inherently wrong there. I hear mocking of those sending their money to TV evangelists, though our own history celebrates those giving ALL they had to their church. We boast a “lay” clergy as if there’s something inherently wrong with making a living through a full time ministry, all the while forgetting our own paid clergy. And on the reverse are those disillusioned with where the money goes who believe their offerings better suited to secular charities than any organized religion.
What is your relationship between money and God, and how is it reflected in your tithing and charitable donations?
“I don’t think Catholics would say you had to pay to pray any more than Mormons would say you have to give God 10% of your income to be sealed to your family, even though tithing is a requirement of entering the temple.” A great analogy!
Thank you for sharing your experience of enjoying a spiritual experience at St. Patrick’s cathedral after you’d outgrown your earlier penchant for judging.
Hi Mel, I enjoy reading your posts.
I think it is beautiful that you were able to appreciate the Catholic “ritual” openly and feel the sacred peace — or spirit, whatever it may mean to you. Just as you-a Mormon in a Catholic cathedral found comfort in a Catholic prayer, I (who use to be Mormon, but have attended Catholic mass for the last 7 years) still find comfort and a sacred spirit in reading my patriarchal blessing, the Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants, Ensign, etc. For me, as I do my best to build a relationship with God, it is not about the organized religion behind the form of worship—but the spirit and intent.
I also think you are hitting on something important here, and that is to worship with a community you need a building to meet. To have a meeting place, there must be funds for maintenance and operating expenses. Whether it be 10% of one’s salary for tithing towards a new temple or a $1.00 donation to “pay to pray” –I have never minded. With faith, I donate so that if I give to the donation jar or plate being passed-I like to think of it towards paying for a prayer candle, a utility bill, or to service within the community. Maybe my contribution will make up for someone who has no money, but can still enjoy the sanctuary of a clean and maintained cathedral.
Something to be open minded to, is that if you are “required” to pay your tithing to be worthy to enter the temple, then you are still “paying to pray”. Mormons are not excluded from the “pay to pray” practice in organized religion. Nor do they keep their churches and temples open to the public Sunday through Saturday. (Again, not saying this is right or wrong—just that less traffic through a building equals less money to maintain carpet, tile, garbage, restrooms, etc. Since they leave their churches open on Sundays to the public they can still maintain operating expenses by their members. )
One more note to add, is for those who are LDS –I am wondering if there are any branches or wards out there that have ever had to worry about funding a leaking church roof or replacing pews outside of church tithing? It was not until I was in a Catholic mass, in Buenos Aires, Argentina, that I realized the second plate being passed around was for the leaking roof above my head.
So interesting to read your observation that Mormons tend to criticize other churches for the way they collect money. I have definitely done that myself (cringe!). I recently found out that you can pay your tithing directly to church headquarters, which I think I prefer because then no one locally knows how much you pay. I called church headquarters to ask about it and they explained it and emailed me the necessary documents within probably 2 minutes.
Then I happened to mention it to someone at church who thought it was heretical.
And then I realized that there is something very public about the way some people pay their tithing. They march right up to the front of the chapel after sacrament meeting and hand it to the bishopric. Everyone can see them. What’s the difference between that and passing around the plate? Very little.
Hi Heather, I like the way you put it into perspective.
” They march right up to the front of the chapel after sacrament meeting and hand it to the bishopric. Everyone can see them. What’s the difference between that and passing around the plate? Very little.”
I think you see a little bit of that at every church, in any religion, in any country in different ways. Whether one is Catholic, Mormon, nontheist, etc. –at the end of the day we are all human, and we make mistakes. So, how do we truly give from our heart and not just pay tithing, to pay tithing–or expect blessings in return?
Back to Mel’s question, “What is your relationship between money and God, and how is it reflected in your tithing and charitable donations?”
Something we also forget is that in the early days of the church (enter your own definition of “the church” here– ex: St. Paul and the early Christians, or early LDS history), tithing was not always monetary. Why is it that we connect 10% of a full tithe to have to be money? Is it a culture change? Is it an easy way out for us to “pay off” our 10% we owe God?
How different my life would be if I would just spend 10% more of each day in meditation, prayer, service in the community, etc.
Sarah – I love the concept of tithing – in financial ways and in all aspects of our lives. We’ve definitely forgotten the latter.
I actually find tithing to be a completely different category of giving than charitable giving, even though it counts as charity at tax time. There is a lot required to maintain a church that we sometimes lose sight of as LDS given that congregations are not responsible for financial maintenance of themselves or their buildings.
And I hope my limited understanding of Catholicism did not make a mockery of something sacred. But I was moved by the cathedral and felt a sincere connection in the prayers I offered there.
Heather – I can’t believe someone thought it was heretical to send tithing to headquarters. Not sure about the logic there? I actually found it more convenient than subversive.
I had expected to be uncomfortable with the passing of the plate, but actually most of the churches I’ve been in I have enjoyed that part of the service. There’s usually music involved and a prayer or blessing over the offerings from the congregation, it’s a much more “active” form of tithing and feels a little less business like.
I know just as many people who are uncomfortable with the Mormon tradition of tithing settlement and the tithing requirement for the temple, but I don’t think these practices stem from sinister motives any more than the passing of the plate. I believe churches preach tithing more for the spiritual benefits of the members than just to keep their doors open. But I could be totally naive here :)
We’ve lit candles and said prayers in every cathedral we’ve visited since we moved to Europe (a number that keeps increasing,they are very sacred places for me). At first, my husband was uncomfortable with this (and I think the kids were just excited about handling fire), but I too found the ritual very moving. Passing the plate, buying the candles, paying tithing — at their best, they are all expressions of gratitude.
“I had expected to be uncomfortable with the passing of the plate, but actually most of the churches I’ve been in I have enjoyed that part of the service. There’s usually music involved and a prayer or blessing over the offerings from the congregation, it’s a much more “active” form of tithing and feels a little less business like. ”
I have found this too. It felt like a more spiritual experience that writing out a check does.
No one is required to pay in order to pray in a Catholic church. However, if you wish to light a candle you usually have to buy the candle, either directly or by placing money in the receptacle beside the candle holder. Candles, as you may have noticed, actually cost money and do not appear magically. I have, when at times I had no money, lit a candle without paying for the candle. I usually payed for the candle later, when I had the money.
I’m at the point in my life where I’m extremely skeptical of all organized religion – the Mormon church in particular.
I still believe in tithe and feel good about sacrifice and my relationship with God. I feel better tithing to the people in my classroom. If a child needs something to eat or a backpack or a school uniform – I have the funds to help. I also feel better about tithing my time to my classroom too – staying the extra time it takes to make something to help a 6 year old to read.
I feel that the Mormon church is very, very rich. Yet there are many Mormon people really struggling financially. That is difficult for me to reconcile since it seems that Jesus traveled without church or script. The church is a huge corporation.
I feel better about seeing who my tithe is going to and being more direct in who it is helping.