My little Stuart has a bleeding heart. He is unusually quick, I think, to identify a person or an action as being unfair or unkind and to want to right the wrong (unless it’s one of his sisters, in the which case it’s revenge, no holds barred). A teacher at his school approached us a couple months ago and whispered: “I know this is kinda weird for me to say, because I’m not supposed to have favorites, but I just have to tell you that your kids are the nicest.kids.in.the.school.” We were a bit taken aback. She continued: “They are nice to EVERYBODY.” She then told us that in music class the previous week, some kids had been making fun of a little girl. Stuart interjected and said: “Hey, you guys. Don’t say those things. It will hurt her feelings if you talk about her like that. Think about how you would feel.”
I was glad to receive that compliment, although neither of us feels like we can take credit for stuff like this. It just is. We’re not better parents than anyone else, and our kids act like butts (I’m so eloquent) plenty often . . .
So I shouldn’t have been surprised by Stuart’s reaction to our bedtime story last night-a library book called Exodus, which recounts the story of Moses. It’s not the kind of book I usually check out from the library, but the illustrations (by Brian Wildsmith) caught my eye. They are beautiful and captivating.
We started reading. Stuart was stumped by the story pretty early on. “So the Pharaoh just said all the Hebrew baby boys had to get killed?” And then, “So the mom just put her baby in a BASKET?” He didn’t like that the Hebrews were enslaved and said: “Mom, if I had been there, I would’ve stood up to Pharaoh and said: ‘Hey! You can’t treat the Hebrews like that. It’s not okay to judge someone by the color of their skin; you’re supposed to only judge people by the content of their character.'” [Stuart is very interested in Martha Luther King. That’s what he calls him and I just can’t correct him.] He didn’t like that the Egyptian guard whipped a Hebrew slave OR that Moses retaliated by killing the guard.
But the trouble really started when Moses went back to Egypt and he and Pharaoh got into their pissing contest to see who was the most powerful. As I identified each new plague, Stuart would put his little-boy finger on the corresponding picture and exclaim: “Mom! Why is God letting them do all those bad things to all the people?” and “So they just MADE everyone get boils even though they weren’t even in on the thing with Moses and Pharaoh?” When we got to the part about the Passover, he got really quiet and whispered: “But MOM, why would God only tell the Hebrews how to protect their oldest sons, but not the Egyptians?”
That was one doozy for which I didn’t have a ready-made answer. Oh, sure, I’ve heard the explanation. Something about how the Hebrews were a chosen people . . . but I knew that one wasn’t gonna fly with Stuart. Things only got worse when God parted the Red Sea to let the Hebrews through and then let the water come crashing down onto the Egyptians. The Disney ending in which the “good guys” (the Hebrews) escape, find water, get manna, and then finally reach the Promised Land tasted like metal in our mouths.
When I read the last words and closed the book, Stuart said emphatically: “Mom, I did NOT like that story.” I told him I thought it was kind of a weird story, too. He said: “Why did God let all those bad things happen?”
Feeling my way in the dark, I took a deep breath and said: “Buddy, there are a lot of stories in the scriptures that say that God does mean things to people-like testing them to see how faithful they are to him by making them have boils or killing off their family members. Or only saving certain people and letting other people die. But I don’t really like the idea of that kind of a God. I like to think that God only does nice things for us. He doesn’t exact revenge or give special blessings only to certain people. And he doesn’t mess with us by making bad things happen to see how much we love him. He just loves us. And sometimes bad things do happen to people, but it doesn’t mean God let them happen. Or that God made them happen. It just means they happened.”
He was quiet for a minute and then said: “That sounds like a good idea of God” and snuggled down into the covers.
Sometimes I just don’t know what to tell these little people.
Good answer, Heather.
Your little guy has already found out that reading scriptures raises more questions than answers.
Out of the mouth of Babes! Yes, Stuart, Welcome to the Old Testament–not that the other scriptures are that much better. Between the Sunday School curriculum and my own outside studying about the history of the Bible (the Yale online course and some Bart Ehrman readings) I lost all belief in those scriptures this year. I can’t believe any of those stories are what a God would want his children to learn about him and to keep studying in the 21st Century.
Stuart’s got it right and so do you, Heather. I’m sure your parenting is to be credited even if you can’t see it.
Heather… I love it when little guys have the ability to question and ponder and conclude on their own. It’s a good indication that the parents are doing something right! What a wonderful little story.
What a tough question!
I often wonder with as many times as the bible has been translated throughout the generations whether some of that “God hated this demographic of people so he decided to wipe them from the earth” wasn’t more of a local passed down prejudice that changed what might have been different scripture to what we have now– a confusing tangle of mismatched words and actions that speaks of a testing, unconfident and jealous God (which doesn’t jive with my vision of him either).
I, too, think that things just happen. I prefer (in my own utopian mind) to think that God has set this earth up like a biosphere as a scientist does to control an experiment. He, (like scientists do when observing the experiment unfold) watches from afar and has the ability to step in and alter the experiment, but for the most part, lets the experiment run its course with minimal interference.
I have to believe that He is good, and kind, and loves us, because if I start to think about all of the awful things in the scriptures that point to a God who acts like a toddler in meltdown mode killing off His children then I start to wonder if this is all worth it (this celestial journey of sorts) and that’s also not a good thing.
I think you handled it well. I’m coming to you when my kids start asking the tough ones. :)
Well, Heather, I think you do know how to answer Stuart, or at least you did this time. It looks as though 8-year old Stuart has a higher evolved moral sense than those old testament prophets with their angry, vengeful gods. Keep asking questions, Stuart. Maybe we adults can learn a few things from you. Thanks, kid. Aunt Marilyn
I love this post, Heather! Your Stuart sounds like a true gem. Good for him for the questions he raised, and good for you for your good answers!
Also, “Martha Luther King” . . . I love it!
Thanks, Ziff. I also love love love that he calls him “Martha” Luther King. It’s one of those little kid sayings that I secretly hope he never outgrows.
Hello, this is a great blog!
I just followed your post from Facebook. I completely agree with your idea of God. All the cruelty and pain in this world is from mortality and mortals. I believe that God only seeks to bless us.
And your son sounds adorable.