A friend of mine in college told me he could never marry a vegetarian because he loved to explore different kinds of food too much. In his mind, someone who had restrictions in the food department just couldn’t be a match.
I on the other hand, had lots of restrictions. Growing up landlocked, seafood was definitely out. Though my parents ate fish every once in a while — usually in the form of shrimp cocktail at Christmas or trout when my dad would return from fishing the Snake River — I couldn’t stand the smell, taste or thought of it.
Remembering back, my dad took me as a pre-teen to the grocery store and said I could choose anything from the meat counter for Valentine’s Day. I stood there admiring all the freshly cut flesh searching for perfection. Suddenly, I rested my eyes on “shark.” I think it was as much about the idea of eating something so ferocious and powerful as it was the pristine white steaks, but I had made up my mind.
But served up on the big day, it was chewy and fishy and just not good. Filled with regret after trusting myself, I had really blown it. Not wanting to concede that my choices couldn’t be trusted, I faked it — but deep inside vowed “never again.” That’s when my palate retreated to the familiar and known, to hiding any flavor under a layer of ranch dressing so as not to be noticed and never to disappoint.
I went through pretty typical food stages — eating anything that was both white and carb intensive while avoiding anything green, always ordering a “side of Ranch” so I could douse my entire meal in it. Even my decade of vegetarianism was dull, merely replacing the meat in a recipe with cheese and never even tasting tofu.
But somewhere between episodes of Top Chef and burn-out on the philly steak sub that didn’t even resemble anything in Philly, I got wistful. I realized how lame it was to travel all the way to the ocean to eat beef, to order a salad at the BBQ dive, and to always play it safe. Not brave enough to face new food on my own, I came up with a rule. Whenever I go to a new restaurant, I always ask the server what they’re known for, and I always pick at least an appetizer from the list.
Now things like grouper, alligator, oysters and wahoo have passed these lips. Can’t claim them as favorites, but there is a sense of adventure whenever doing something as small as trying a new restaurant. And the successes are enough to make my mouth water: bread pudding with whiskey sauce or sausage meatballs stuffed with roasted tomatoes and dates just to name a few.
Not everything recommended actually tastes good, but I don’t fake it anymore. Being disappointed isn’t nearly as bad as fearing the disappointment, at the restaurant or anywhere else in life. My eating habits have shown me the other places in life I’m so worried about making a disappointing choice that I won’t try something new. In the end, an entrée not enjoyed is not the end of the world, but another side of ranch might be.
What are your restaurant habits? Are you a “I’ll have the Chicken Caesar Salad”-er, a certifiable foodie snob or somewhere in between?
Well, I’m getting better…
but I just noticed how much this post can apply to other aspects of life: I’ll have the house in the suburbs with a gym membership and 2.7 kids on the side…
Love this post, Mel.
Brent and I got into a heated, umm, “discussion” after watching the documentary “Steep.” It’s about these people who do extreme skiing. I mean, these people were doing CRAZY stuff. Some of them died and others were saying that if they DID die while doing these outrageous stunts, it would be worth it.
We were both glued to the TV. I was MAD–almost personally offended–by how cavalier these people were with their lives. Some of them were parents! How could they go out and do this dangerous stuff and leave their children without a father or a mother?
Brent was mesmerized, also, but he was jealous of them and admired them for their guts. I am risk averse. Brent is averse to staying still–in life, that is.
I have been getting very adventurous this year. I have tried liver, duck, duck eggs, endive, watercress, and bacon on cake. I look forward to even more brave dining experiences, like foie gras, (grass-fed beef) heart & kidney, pate, oysters, and clams. The more I try, the more I am willing to try.
Wow, kmillecam. Bacon on cake. Interesting. I just saw a recipe that called for putting bacon crumbles in chocolate chip cookies. Weird!
The bacon on the chocolate cake was to die for. I like both chocolate and bacon, but I was very unsure it would work to combine them. I was surprised by how much I liked it. Now that I have tried it, I think the bacon crumbles in chocolate chip cookies will be something I have to try! It was very salty-and-sweet-satisfying. Like a chocolate pretzel, or caramel or taffy with coarse salt on top.
Cheryl – you forgot the minivan/SUV :)
Heather – I am still trying to figure out a balance. My littlest one was born with one kidney. While you could lose your kidney a million and one different ways, the doctor only forbid him from 3 activities, talking about how you could still have a good quality of life without doing those, but if you made him completely safe it wasn’t worth it.
I am adding Steep to my movie list now! From your description, I wouldn’t say they were cavalier with their lives. They were just living in a paradigm where the cost of lengthening life by not partaking in something they loved so much was too high. I feel that way about cheese.
Kmillecam – Wow! Looks like I need to expand my restaurants or try my rule at home too – the more I try the more I am willing as well. There’s something about realizing it’s just food. There will be other meals. And it’s okay to try things we might not like, though I’m interested if your list is things you like or not?
That’s the thing: I didn’t think I would like (calves’) liver, but then I did. I like it breaded and fried with onions and bacon. I loved the duck I tried, but that was at a fancy restaurant where they had all kinds of reduction sauces and microgreens involved. If I ever try to make duck, I will be nervous. I loved the endive and watercress, which I made into a salad with bleu cheese and pine nuts last week. The only thing I am not sure about are the duck eggs. I used one in the soup I made yesterday, but I can’t bring myself to try one fried for breakfast. Too scared still!
But back to liver: I am sure that since I like calves liver prepared as I said above, that I will like foie gras and pate. So that makes the adventure more exciting!
I love your adventurous nature Mel. I think about you often and how you order at restaurants. Last weekend on a date, you came to mind and I took a leap – ordering the “spicy” chocolate mousse at Maria Maria (Carlos Santana’s Mexican restaurant). It was wild and delicious and something I never would have tried had I not met you! Thanks for expanding my world.
Personally I’m not a vegetarian, but I usually order vegetarian when I go out, mostly because I’m bored of sampling yet another slab of meat. In my experience, centering the meal around meat sometimes (ironically) limits the range of types of meals you might try.
That said, I totally agree about ordering the speciality of the house. I don’t usually go out of my way to ask what the restaurant is famous for, but if I see anything on the menu that indicates that a given dish is their speciality or most famous dish, I always order it, no matter what it is, because they’re not going to write that on the menu unless it’s good. So far, this trick has never failed me. :D
I love to eat, I love to cook and I love to try new things. When I eat in restaurants, I sometimes try Mel’s trick, but sometimes I just go with my mood.
I’ve gone mostly vegetarian this year, partly because I feel better and partly because it is getting me to cook and try new things — totally agree with Chanson on the boredom of eating endless slabs of meat in slightly different ways. Moving to a new country has given me lots of opportunities. In the last four years I have tried everything on Kmilliecam’s list plus quail and goose eggs. I also belong to a box scheme for my fruit and veg and I’ve tried and learned to cook swedes, fennel, different varieties of mushrooms and broccoli, chard, kale and lots of others. Some I like more than others, but it forces me to stay out of my red pepper, tomato and cucumber rut (although I still love those).
I don’t think I’ve ever tried shark, but I would. :)
I really like fennel, though I have yet to try it raw in a salad a la Giada. I have baked it with fish and capers and lemon slices. Yum! I am not so good at cooking or liking chard and kale. I have tried and tried. And in the spirit of adventurousness, I will keep trying! I’ll like it in some form someday. I an intrigued to try quail eggs now. The egg farmer I buy my chicken eggs from also sells the duck eggs in my fridge, and quail eggs which I have never tried. I may buy some from him and try the old cut-the-center-out-of-toast trick and fry them up. Or maybe I’ll feel brave on my next sushi outing and try a quail egg on top of a roll.
The fennel with the fish and capers sounds yummy. We had it raw in a salad yesterday. I liked it quite a bit. I sliced it thin and put it on a bed of frisee and then topped it with a white wine vinegar and mustard vinagrette.
The quail eggs are the most adorable tiny bites, I did it in the center of the toast thing as well because otherwise, not much of a meal. :)
I’ve had my best success with kale in soups and chard cooked with bacon, garlic and balsamic vinegar, but they aren’t my favorites.
I’m a picky eater but anything cooked with bacon, garlic and balsamic vinegar sounds pretty yummy.
I love going to restaurants and ordering something I’ve never eaten before. My husband likes to order the same items from the menu again and again. If we go to a restaurant that has none of his old favorites on the menu I have to order something for him that I think he might like.
I belong to a box program too. I like because I never know what I’m going to get and I discover some new veggies that I might not have ever tried otherwise. I got my box delivered this morning and there was a celeriac in it. I have no idea what to do with that, but I’m sure I’ll figure something out.
@kmillecam
I agree that liver with bacon and onions is delicious.
Lovelyn — that is exactly why I like the box scheme. And, I had no idea what to do when a celeriac came in my box.
yum. I peel it, shred it, and toss it with a yogurt-tahini-mustard dressing.
Wow, that’s something I would have never thought of. What do you do with it, typically? It sounds delish.
What’s a box program?
Heather – a box program is a CSA (consumer supported agriculture). You sign up with a farm and get a box once a week usually that has a variety of seasonal fruits and veggies in it. It’s a great way to eat locally/seasonally and entice you to try new things because you’ve already bought them.
Thanks for reminding me about the veggies everyone. They don’t have the ewww factor that meat does to me so I neglected them here, but you’re right, it’s a great way to be adventurous. I know it’s not foreign to many people, but my family is trying beets tonight.
I’m wondering if we feel this adventurous about food if it bleeds into other areas of our lives – I can see a correlation on my part. The more exploratory I got with food the more I did in other areas of life. What about you? Those who seem to have embraced this idea with what you eat, do you push yourself to try new things in other areas of your life?
I’m not sure which came first — being adventurous about food or being adventurous in other areas of life — but I also see a correlation. For me, it is all part and parcel of being open to life and not being afraid of things that are new or different. I also love what you said in the OP about it not being the end of the world if our experiments turn out to be failures, or, even worse sometimes, just kind of meh. I think you gain something in the effort. I have one very picky eater in my house and two kind of picky eaters. Our rule (stolen from my Mom) is that you have to take a “No-Thank You Helping” and at least try new foods. If you don’t like it, no big deal, you don’t have to eat the whole thing, but you have to try.
Hmmm . . . I don’t think we have anything like a box program here. Maybe I’m selling our little town short. There is a farmer’s market . . .
As for me, I’m not an adventurous eater. I spent so many hours of my childhood sitting at the table, trying to keep myself from gagging. Sometimes my mom would give us the choice to “eat it or go to bed.” We immediately chose to go to bed hungry, at which point she would say “Eat it.”
I *do* eat many more things than I did when I was a kid, but still don’t like LOTS of veggies.
I still have yet to participate in our local CSA (Maya’s Farm). Terrible, I know! I just get too overwhelmed. But that’s probably because I don’t have a hubby home on time for dinner. I think this coming winter I will probably be up for it though. Ours includes flowers, which is an idea I love. Plus, it’s so important to support local farmers whenever possible. In my defense, Maya’s Farm is also at my local farmer’s market every Saturday, so I buy single produce items from them whenever I am there picking up eggs and whatnot.
Our beets tonight were a big time flop. As it turns out, we don’t really like them, at least the way I cooked them. So we all had a bite and moved on.
As I’ve tried to step out of my comfort zone with food, and with life, one of the things that I attempt is figuring out whether I avoid something because I’m set in my comfortable ways, because I fear it, or because I truly dislike it. If I try it and truly dislike it, there’s no reason to force it on myself in larger quantities. And I try really hard not to judge my tastes -because I “should” like something doesn’t necessarily mean I actually do.
I was a vegan for about 6 months and a vegetarian for a little over 5 years. I quit being a vegetarian, because I eventually ended up eating nothing but corn chips and potato chips and french fries. I have simple tastes. There was a period of my life that lasted a few years where ate mostly Big Macs. During college, I ate mostly pizza — warm for dinner, cold for breakfast and lunch. Unfortunately, living with other people means never eating the same thing more than once a day. Shoot, sometimes you don’t even get to eat the same thing more than once a week.
Now, I just eat what is served. I’m not a picky eater, and there are 5 kids who actually care what things taste like, so my wife cooks wonderful things for them. I think it bugs her when she asks me what I want for dinner, and I tell her “anything is great.” Honestly, I’d just as soon have a bowl of breakfast cereal as just about anything. I love breakfast cereal.
When my wife’s mother was diagnosed with cancer, my wife took all the kids out west to spend the summer with her. I was home alone for 8 weeks. The first few mornings, I made myself real breakfasts with items like eggs or bacon or gritz or toast or oatmeal. Then I started running out of ingredients, so I opened up an extra-large box of Cheez-its from Costco. When those ran out, I ate all the PowerBars. When those ran out, I found some water crackers. After those ran out, I rummaged through the house and found a lone box of Chicken in a Biscuit. There’s no better box of crackers to find on accident than Chicken in a Biscuit, because there’s nothing like thinking you’re totally bereft of crackers and then finding a bonus box of Chicken in a Biscuit, and then you think to yourself, “Aaaahhhhhh. It’s been soooooo long since I’ve had Chicken in a Biscuit.” But I finished those, too. And there I was. I’d eaten every cracker in the house. I was even out of Diet Coke.
So finally, I broke down, went to the store, and bought more Cheez-its. Nothing but Cheez-its. Well, Cheez-its and Diet Coke. More than $300 of Cheez-its and Diet Coke — what turned out to be nearly enough Cheez-its and Diet Coke to tide me over until my wife got home.
Crackers are the most underrated food on earth. The White Cheddar Cheez-its are exquisite, like a gourmet cracker or something.
I was never a picky eater exactly, but next to my sister who loved mussels and habaneros from an early age, I was very timid with my tongue. It wasn’t until I lived in Russia for a while that I allowed my buds to blossom. After trying everything from Halava (sunflower seed “paste”) to Holidietz (jellified animal fat), I came home ready to try out more – because most things seemed tame after that. It’s also where I developed a taste for mushrooms finally, and I’m surprised by how much I liked Caviar – though the thought still makes me squirm a bit.
I admit I get more excited by a classic done really well, or perhaps with a delicious twist. I prefer a dish that’s rare because of the spices and flavor combinations over the exotic animal that it comes from. And I love an artful presentation. I’m still not a huge seafood fan beyond fish and at one point refused to eat it out of respect to Leviticus. I’m open to eating it when offered, but I never make it. And as for what I cook with, we go with sustainable and humane options wherever possible. Local if it makes sense, organic if we can get it, grass fed or no beef, and raw as I can safely handle. Oh, and as kosher Mormons we don’t eat pork.) But I’m teaching my kids to be adventurous as possible within those limits and we have a strict no whining policy for food. They eat what they’re served, and so far, we haven’t had too many refusals.
And my husband and I were vegetarian for six years. I think everyone trying to open up their food experience should try this for a while. It really helped me to learn how to use vegetables better and for the most part forced me to expand my range at (good) restaurants.
DKL – chicken in a biscuit is definitely the forgotten cracker
Corktree – curious about your religious restrictions on food. I have never as a Mormon been taught that there is some higher law to anything referenced in the OT, in fact I’ve seen people snub their noses at orthodoxy in that light because in their mind it takes something away from the atonement. Tell me more about your ideas.
It didn’t start out as a religious conviction. It started out with my research into food contamination and relative nutrition. Shell fish and most of the other “no nos” from Leviticus have reasons behind why they are not optimal for human consumption that have only recently been understood. The seafood restrictions are frequently contaminated with pollutants and heavy metals as bottom feeders. And pork is one of the most contaminated meats (plus I have a soft spot for pigs – more intelligent than dogs, anyone?) So I considered that the reasons behind the restrictions had more to do with health and food safety than religious observance. I’m not holding to the old laws because I don’t think the atonement covered them (heck, we didn’t circumcise our son in part because Christ said it was done away in him in Moroni) I just think there are good reasons not to, and out of personal conviction to sustainable food sources, we’ve made a few “rules” out of it in our family.
Loved this, Mel. Thanks! At our house food network-type shows are a regular staple and seriously, what about the drama of food?!? Awesome.
I’ll try new things occasionally. I’ve grown to love sushi. Still a mainstream sushi guy but so many opportunities to try exotic things. For some time I resisted eel. But finally gave-in and seriously! Tasty. Though I’ll admit, there’s always a slight resistance even though I know it tastes so good.
Thanks for that! My mum recently harvested a garden full of tomatoes , and I found myself the proud owner of two or four buckets worth! Of course I couldnt eat them all like that, but I did find a website full of tons more tomato recipes here. A website dedicated the topic!! Crazy what you can find on the internets these days!!