Sigh. I’ve been so anxious for my kids to get older, I forgot to enjoy what I’m now realizing was the sweet spot. The sweet spot occurs between the years of 6 and 11, give or take a year or two depending on your kid.
Why is 6-10 the sweet spot? Well, by the time a kid is six, he/she can probably do all of the following:
- eat independently
- wash his/her own hands
- wipe his/her own nose and bum
- shower/bathe with minimal assistance
- ride a bike
- dress him/herself
- brush his/her own teeth
- comb his/her own hair
- do some small household chores
- make his/her own bed
- sometimes control his/her emotions (read = fewer tantrums)
- go to bed by about 8:30 (thereby leaving parents four delicious hours of uninterrupted kidfree time = bliss)
- you get the picture . . .
By the time a kid is 11, the sweet spot is pretty much done-or temporarily on hold-because he/she probably:
- needs you to drive him/her from hell to breakfast-multiple times a day, every day
- needs you to manage the homework process
- sends and receives an insane number of text messages, leaving you to question his/her ability to sustain an actual face-to-face conversation
- needs you to drive him/her from hell to breakfast (I already said this, huh?)
- needs you to sign all sorts of papers
- needs you to give him/her money on a daily basis
- does not control his/her emotions (read = more tantrums)
- rolls his/her eyes at you and directs huffy breaths (if you’ve ever read Junie B. Jones, you’ll get this; if not, excuse the inside joke) your way on a daily basis
- stays up indefinitely, often wandering into the room where you are at 10:30-just to see what you’re up to (thereby cutting your delicious hours of uninterrupted kidfree time by 50% = uncool)
And the second list gets exponentially worse as soon as they hit high school.
In short, I feel like my job as a parent has been reduced to handing out money and driving the kids around (and I even pay someone to do a lot of the driving since I’m at work). It’s really not that fun. There’s not a whole lot there to enjoy.*
So while I would never choose (yes, I said never) to go back to the < 6 stage, hindsight is teaching me that I should’ve appreciated the sweet spot more. Luckily, I have one kid still there-for one more year.
Here’s to enjoying my final year of the sweet spot.
[*Despite these annoying things, I still prefer my big kids infinitely more than I did when they were babies/toddlers.]
Wait. You can stay awake until 12:30??? 0.o
jlo: Sigh. Yes, I stay up until 12:30, every night. And every morning I vow to never do it again. But I am straight-up *desperate* to do something with my life besides work and take care of kids.
Three of my four kids are in the sweet spot. Thanks for the reminder to appreciate them.
To me, my oldest kids are just coming into the sweet spot. Twins are about to turn 14, and I can really TALK to them. Their lives are about to explode, and as scary as it is, it’s also very exciting. One of them has his first big crush going on, and I get to say things like, “Congratulations, you’re about to enter several years where you’ll be more stupid than all the rest of your years combined.” :) And then we get to talk about it.
If there was an earlier sweet spot for me, it was the couple of years after they learned to talk, similar explosion of development happening.
I’m in the sweet spot right now and I love it. It’s almost over though, and I’m already sad.
I better pay attention…I’ll have 6 months when all three of my kids will be in the sweet spot.
And, I am loving having a 6 year old. Totally different than a five year old.
I am SO glad to see you say that older than sweet spot kids are easier(??) than toddlers (or at least preferable to?)!! My oldest has just reached the sweet spot and BOY do I love it! Every day I’m pretty much counting the days until they ALL reach the sweet spot. And like EmilyCC, I’ll have a very tiny window where all three are there. Uh-oh…this just gives me more justification for the side of me that wants to be done having kids… The side that wants one more might get upset now!
@Amanda L, oh, I’m done. And part of me realizing that I was definitely done was getting a peek into the sweet spot. My oldest was 6 when my youngest was born. And so I got a glimpse of what life might be like with a 6+ year old. And I liked what I saw and was ready to get there. ;)
I actually think that human beings peak at about age 4. But, the two worse experiences of parenting for me were toilet training and teaching the kid to drive. Actually supporting the oldest kid through the breakup of his engagement was pretty bad too. So you have a lot to look forward to. :)
Paula, the buzz kill . . .
:) Happy to be of service. :) College application season is loads of fun too.
On the bright side, once the oldest gets their license, ferrying the younger kids around to things can be their responsibility!
Wait?! You mean it gets better? Oh thank heavens….
*trying to clean up the floor, chair, walls, face of toddler’s breakfast*