Forgiveness. As babies and young children, we can’t help but forgive those that wrong us. We have no choice…. we are too dependent. But somehow along the path to adulthood (and independence) we lose that. Maybe rightly so- I think there is something valuable about choosing to forgive.
A lady in my congregation got up once in Sunday School- I can’t remember what the lesson was on, exactly- and told us a story. The story of her son being murdered and her choosing to forgive his killer, and then going to him and personally granting her forgiveness. “I don’t know if it did him any good,” she said, “but it did my heart a world of good, and I know I’m right with God. You can’t let the anger and the bad feelings eat you up inside.”
I’ve heard her tell the story several times now, over the years, and it never fails to sock me in the gut. As a mother, I have awareness, on some level, that losing a child is one of the hardest things a person can go through in this life. This was a boy in his prime cut down by violence. I have no idea what the circumstances were- I didn’t know the boy. But this woman and her principles will never be forgotten.
As I’ve observed the story of Troy Davis’ execution play out over the last several weeks and years, I’ve prayed for him and his family. But I also pray for the family of Mark MacPhail. They lost a son- a man in his prime cut down by violence- and are put in a position to rely on the state to give them peace. For 22 years, Anneliese MacPhail has not been able to put her son’s death to rest because as long as Troy Davis was on death row, there was no resolution.
I think on some level Anneliese MacPhail has no choice but to believe that Troy Davis was guilty. To allow even a shred of doubt in-to consider that her son’s killer is still at large- would make it unbearable. His family had to put their faith in our justice system, no matter how many giant holes are in its fabric.
So, today I wish peace to the family and friends of Troy Davis- and to Anneliese MacPhail.
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Edited: Come listen to Mormon Matters podcast 53: Mormonism and Capital Punishment for a great discussion on the death penalty, the Troy Davis case, forgiveness, etc.
Sometimes we speak of peace like it’s a passive thing that sort of comes over us, but I think in most respects it’s an active thing. We have to seek it out and to create it. I think it’s also important to understand what forgiveness means in this situation. It’s not forgetting, but giving up the desire for judgment and vengeance, not like inviting the other person over for Thanksgiving dinner, but being willing to set aside the bitterness and leaving the hate and the demands of justice to God and the state, in the far and near terms. Peace is an attitude that has to be nurtured from within and not something we really receive without a lot of work on our part, before and after the event.