If you asked a Mormon what the purpose of this life is, you would probably get an explanation of the Plan of Salvation. Something along the lines of coming to earth to get a body, to learn and grow, and to be tested in this life so we can demonstrate how well we follow God’s plan. If all goes well, our life involves wisdom, long-suffering, and obedience, and we can return to live with our Heavenly Father.
Years ago, I was watching a TV interview with the 14th Dalai Llama who was asked the same question, “What is the purpose of life?” His face lit up and he exclaimed, “To be happy!” Say what? That’s it? You’re this huge, revered leader of one of the world’s major religions, and you’re going to tell us, “to be happy?”
Of course, I adored the DL’s simple answer. There’s something about that man and the innocent twinkle in his eye that makes me think that he just may know a thing or two about happiness. And the fact that he gave the world permission to pursue happiness over holiness is something I find completely audacious.
Any human who has lived on earth knows how simple it sounds, “be happy”, and how elusive happiness really is. Regardless of what differing religions say is our purpose on earth, make no mistake about it – the reality is that all human beings are chasing happiness in one form or another.
I spent most of my life following somebody else’s guidelines for happiness, and believing with all of my heart that I was going to find it. I trusted, I believed, and I was obedient. When the beliefs failed me, I had faith that I would find happiness in the next life, if I could just endure.
In my quest to just survive, to endure, I found yoga. Yoga brought me to meditation. And, a funny thing happens with meditation. Meditate on a regular basis, and you’ll begin to see through yourself, or who you think you are. You’ll start to see your thoughts and beliefs, and the more you stare into them, they begin to stare right back.
Beliefs have a way of evolving and maturing. I look back at my arch of belief and I see so clearly how many of those thought forms were a way of trying to explain that which is truly unexplainable. I understand that holding to dogma kept me going when I was ready to give up. I see that in those tender moments of my life, I needed something to soothe me more than I needed truth. There seemed to be some meat in that famous line Jack Nicholson delivered in the movie, A Few Good Men, “You can’t handle the truth!”
David Nicturne is quoted by his son Ethan as saying something along the lines of, “Buddhism is what anybody would figure out if they just paid close enough attention.” This is what I have found to be true — when I pay close attention to my practices and beliefs, and my internal world, I see more clearly. The Dharma, the Dao, the truth, unfolds to me the more I am willing to take a good, hard look at my beliefs. The more I let go, even when I let go of the very thing that soothes me, the more I gain a bit of freedom from my subjective reality. And, this new clarity ushered in a new sense of peace.
Oddly, we don’t find happiness by chasing it. We don’t find it by wishing our pain away, or by following some set of doctrine outside ourselves. I believe one way that we find happiness is by having the courage to embrace inquiry and skepticism about the very beliefs and doctrine we let occupy our mind space.
The Second Book of the Yoga sutras explains that there are five kleshas, or afflictions that keep us from resting in happiness right now. They are:
1. Avidya — The inability to see things for what they really are. Our subjective reality. It is spiritual delusion.
2. Asmita — An innocence of who and what we are. An over-identification with the ego.
3. Raga — Desire or addiction to pleasure. This looks like us staying in our comfort zones, looking for “shiny objects” or soothing beliefs to provide our happiness. It’s the tendency to escape the way it is in the moment and pop into the future. “Life will be better when. . .” Raga is greedy, grabby and anxious. It’s a hungry sensation.
4. Dvesha — Aversion to pain. This is the idea that some things are too painful to experience. It’s refusing to stay in this moment, to accept the way things are. Dvesha is running away from things we don’t like.
5. Abhinivesha — The fear of death and clinging to life. Nothing will keep you from happiness in this moment faster than pushing it off to a future imagined heaven.
Faith is a hard one for me. If I put faith in certain beliefs, how will I ever know if they if they aren’t true? Does my sheer belief in them make them true because I use my subjective reality as confirmation bias? Yet, my gut tells me through experience and wisdom that there’s something I just might be able to put some faith in. I suspect that I experience a taste of something real when I meditate without resistance, when I look carefully and openly at the contents of my mind. So, I tentatively and bravely invest a bit of faith in the idea that choosing reality and truth (as much as I am able to see them clearly) over self-soothing will bring me to happiness. I gently believe that if I have the courage to question that which I hold dear, it will lead me to sukha, “sweetness, and happiness.
And then, I just can’t help but ask myself if my faith is wise, or if it’s just another way to self-soothe and run through the same cycle I’ve been through so many times before. I remind myself that I’ve seen it happen — when I am happy it’s because of my ability to see clearly in this moment, to experience peace beyond these five afflictions of experience. In the end, as I navigate my subjective thoughts, feelings, and experiences, this messy method of truth hunting is all I’ve got. Brutal self-honesty, and the simple questions, “Is it working for me? Are these beliefs making a real difference in my life?” have brought me to a place of fearlessness and peace that I had never experienced before. It’s good. For today, it’s enough.
So I have some big questions for you this week:
- Is your current set of beliefs bringing you happiness? Do you believe that truth will bring you to happiness? Should it?
- Is it fair to judge a set of religious beliefs and practices by their ability to deliver you into happiness?
- If you believe in something enough, do you find evidence to make it true? What reality checks or quality controls do you have for your beliefs?
- What’s a person to do when their current religious practices don’t deliver what they promise?
Great post! The only rational thing to do when your current religion doesn’t meet your needs is to move on.
Waiting to be happy in heaven is a risk I’m not willing to take.
It’s awesome to find what you’re seeking in a worldview or a religion. I think all our paths are completely individual. I embraced Buddhism long ago in high school, and learned a lot from it. I do see Mormonism as (on my particular path) an advance from there. It does clearly state that people exist in order that we might have joy. I see that as fundamental, though I wish it were couched in less sexist language in LDS-speak. So we do agree with the DL on that score. From Yoga I learned how very much the mind, body, and spirit are intertwined and, in fact, as one. This also echoes LDS theology of the soul. We’re embodied now in these mortal bodies, and one day will have perfected bodies. Spirits without bodies aren’t nearly so advanced or able as we. Yet we still view the self as much more than the wants of the physical body. This for me encompasses Asmita and Raga. We still do have a yearning for the divine, a spark of divinity which marks us as children of our Heavenly Parents. We know, therefore, that we aren’t merely mortal. We can let go of Abinivesha.
I see all this shining through LDS theology, more clearly, even, than in Buddhism. I think that’s why there are so many different religions, because the things we need to learn to advance are found more easily by different individuals in different ways.
@ Course Correction – “waiting to be happy in heaven is a risk I’m not willing to take.” – Ah… well said!
@ Tatiana – I was surprised when I went to lds.org last week, to see that their language is changing and softening. TSMonson has given some talks recently about coming more into the present moment. I think the church itself has a lot of room for a positive evolution.
Where I am at the moment, I see ‘happiness’ as something that cannot be a goal: but is a chance result of life’s actions and decisions. The Dalai Llama (and Mormonism’s) directive to ‘be happy’ can be read – from this viewpoint – as an almost anarchic principle, throwing out all the philosophising that ultimately crashes on the shores of our mortality.
When I see a religion that seems to deliver ‘happiness’ above all else, I’m instantly suspicious. There’s something in the water. :)
I always found it interesting in Mormon discussions when there is a differentiation between happiness and joy. Supposedly happiness is fleeting and joy is eternal. So even if you are extremely unhappy, you can be full of joy.
I have thought a lot about this, since it seems that so many people, especially women in the church are depressed. Of course, I’m looking as an outsider at a life full of burdens and saying – you are depressed because you have given everything to your husband, your large number of children, and your church. If you had anything, you have sacrificed it through your Mormonism. I think wearing the same dress for 40 years because you had 7 kids is admirable – sort of, and I won’t fault anyone if that is their choice but sometimes a new dress does a lot for my mood in general. There almost has to be a cultural thought in Mormonism that if you are suffering and depressed . . . you really are full of joy.
I’m not sure. If I’m depressed, that is not joy or happiness to me. I think people, and women in particular need to have some good times to keep them going. I also believe in education and self-improvement and self-investment. I think women need to be careful within the Mormon religion that they don’t give away so much in an effort to have joy, that all they have bought is depression.
Someone on another post (Matt?) commented that one life is enough. That line really stuck in my head. THIS life is the one that matters. It may very well be the only one we’ve got. We don’t KNOW anything different. So let’s enjoy it.
I’m not sure the focus of the Mormon church is to make us happy. It seems more to make us do what we’re supposed to do to receive exaltation–in the next life. That’s different from joy/happiness to me. Oh, sure, the supposition is that if we do all those things, a byproduct will be happiness, but it could also be trials and sadness. And if it’s trials and sadness, then that must be what we needed . . .
It feels like a loop that you can’t get out of.
Do you believe that truth will bring you to happiness?
Truth enables me to make intelligent choices and to accurately learn from them. The alternative (deception or delusion) impedes that process. So I believe that truth is more likely to enable me to find happiness than deception or delusion are.
Is it fair to judge a set of religious beliefs and practices by their ability to deliver you into happiness?
Yes, see above.-) I tend to view a set of religious beliefs as a hypothesis about the relationships between and among various kinds of experiences and aspects of existence. Some of those relationships are explicitly taught (metaphysics) and others implied through various kinds of stories, concepts, and theories about existence. Most sets of religious beliefs that I’m familiar with extend well beyond what is actually experienced in order to explain what is experienced. Sometimes that entails laying inference atop of inference. Sometimes also I think I can discern in the storied relationships efforts (whether conscious or unconscious) to bolster the leader(s) authority and dominion over the believers. In any event, religions attempt to explain experience and to formulate guidance about how to conduct oneself to accomplish particular aims. Most religions I’m familiar with teach that the end goal is some standard of happiness — often enough they instruct on how to attain happiness (however denominated) after death. The ones that interest me most are the ones that focus on existence prior to death, as I tend to think the life-after-death idea is one of those inferences piled atop other inferences, combined with a considerable effort to bolster the authority and dominion of still-life-bound religious leaders. So, yes, happiness is a fair measure of a religion. The harder question is whether happiness in this life is a fair measure of a religion. I think it is, but I can readily understand why others don’t.
What’s a person to do when their current religious practices don’t deliver what they promise?
Endeavor to perceive clearly why happiness has not been attained, and based on that clear(er) seeing, adjust the behaviors that lead away from happiness. (Is that too pragmatic or mechanical?)