I was recently in a nearby city on business. I had reason to be evaluating (rather subjectively) the ‘feel’ of a certain neighborhood and decided to return the next day when I had an hour to look around. As I neared my destination, I noticed a run-down hotel advertising a midweek special: $38 plus tax. I had spent some time on Priceline the week before pricing out hotels so it caught my eye. So did a woman walking out of the parking lot with a large backpack. She had a distinctly defeated and distressed look on her face and in her body language. I let my mind wander as to what her life circumstances were as I looked for a parking space. The lot was full, so I pulled out of a narrow drive and stopped at the sidewalk to wait for traffic to clear. As I looked out my window and down the street, I found myself face to face with the lady I’d just been wondering about. I smiled vaguely and was averting my eyes when she indicated she wanted to ask me something. I figured it would be directions since it was a college town and she was in a hotel. It turns out she needed a ride to “North and MLK.”
Dear reader, what is your reaction? Probably the same as I had when I heard my dad casually mention he took a homeless person with him in his car to the ATM to get cash. But at the moment it seemed perfectly natural that I would take her there, not even knowing where it was.
As the next hour unfolded, I had opportunities to help Dawn out, whatever her situation was (she was fairly tight with the details) and also to respectfully hold to my boundaries and limits (no I would not put a hotel room on my credit card or take her with me to the bank to get money, but how about I buy you a phone card and lunch). I even ended up holding onto her stuff for several hours while she figured out where she was going to spend the next night.
A couple times I had to remind myself “the world is a friendly place” and rely on my instincts rather than fear. I’m still not sure I did the right thing. My van smells like cigarettes and I’m $30 and two ibuprofen poorer. But it’s a story to tell and I feel like a part of humanity for doing it. It sounds corny, but by carrying around her belongings (two pairs of sturdy shoes, a box of office supplies, a blanket, and a black garbage bag full of what I assume was clothing) I felt like I was literally bearing her burden, whoever she was.
Maybe someday I’ll get my friend Kirt to write a guest post about when he took in a homeless ninja…
I really value the stories we can learn from those who society has effectively spat out and forgotten. I remember one time when I was an undergraduate, sitting in a laundromat, an old guy started talking away to himself in the corner… I had my phone in my hand, and I recorded his ‘performance’… I don’t even remember what it was about now, but I listened to it again a few times, and felt enriched by the way in which he freewheeled: so different from the voices I was used to hearing.
I think that even if the world wasn’t a friendly place, our humanity would depend on the good people who tell themselves that it is, and live as if it is. These are really sacred experiences you’re having… thanks for sharing them with us.
PS: I would LOVE to hear about the homeless ninja!
Oh, man, I’ve never done this before. Too scared.
My seminary teacher (if you’re not Mormon, this is like Sunday School for Mormon teenagers, but every morning at 6:30 a.m.) growing up once picked up a homeless man with a will-work-for-food sign. They brought him home, had him eat dinner with them, set him up with a room and a bathroom, and agreed that he would do some work for them in the morning.
When they got up the next morning, he was gone. I remember her telling us that they were disappointed, and I am not judging them at all for thinking that. I might have thought it, too. But as an outside observer, it looks different. Their help wasn’t *really* contingent upon him doing some yard work, was it?
Claire, something about the anonymous that makes this read like I think religious texts should … but don’t.
Claire,
You are an impressive person. You did lighten that poor woman’s burden. I don’t think I could have done that.
Who lifted who?
I was helping this guy clear out an old building a couple years ago and we had a couple guys that for all intents and purposes were homless helping us, one guy told me he’d been camping since 1993 and he’d spent years digging his own mine up in wyoming looking for gold, he said he’d buy a 24 pack of beer and 6 cans of chili and take one shower a week. He said he prefered to live “under the radar”. Pretty far out..