C’mon, get happy

If you asked a Mormon what the purpose of this life is, you would probably get an explanation of the Plan of Salvation. Something along the lines of coming to earth to get a body, to learn and grow, and to be tested in this life so we can demonstrate how well we follow God’s plan. If all goes well, our life involves wisdom, long-suffering, and obedience, and we can return to live with our Heavenly Father.

Years ago, I was watching a TV interview with the 14th Dalai Llama who was asked the same question, “What is the purpose of life?” His face lit up and he exclaimed, “To be happy!” Say what? That’s it? You’re this huge, revered leader of one of the world’s major religions, and you’re going to tell us, “to be happy?”

Of course, I adored the DL’s simple answer. There’s something about that man and the innocent twinkle in his eye that makes me think that he just may know a thing or two about happiness. And the fact that he gave the world permission to pursue happiness over holiness is something I find completely audacious.

Any human who has lived on earth knows how simple it sounds, “be happy”, and how elusive happiness really is. Regardless of what differing religions say is our purpose on earth, make no mistake about it – the reality is that all human beings are chasing happiness in one form or another.

I spent most of my life following somebody else’s guidelines for happiness, and believing with all of my heart that I was going to find it. I trusted, I believed, and I was obedient. When the beliefs failed me, I had faith that I would find happiness in the next life, if I could just endure.

In my quest to just survive, to endure, I found yoga. Yoga brought me to meditation. And, a funny thing happens with meditation. Meditate on a regular basis, and you’ll begin to see through yourself, or who you think you are. You’ll start to see your thoughts and beliefs, and the more you stare into them, they begin to stare right back.

Beliefs have a way of evolving and maturing. I look back at my arch of belief and I see so clearly how many of those thought forms were a way of trying to explain that which is truly unexplainable. I understand that holding to dogma kept me going when I was ready to give up. I see that in those tender moments of my life, I needed something to soothe me more than I needed truth. There seemed to be some meat in that famous line Jack Nicholson delivered in the movie, A Few Good Men, “You can’t handle the truth!”

David Nicturne is quoted by his son Ethan as saying something along the lines of, “Buddhism is what anybody would figure out if they just paid close enough attention.”   This is what I have found to be true — when I pay close attention to my practices and beliefs, and my internal world, I see more clearly. The Dharma, the Dao, the truth, unfolds to me the more I am willing to take a good, hard look at my beliefs. The more I let go, even when I let go of the very thing that soothes me, the more I gain a bit of freedom from my subjective reality. And, this new clarity ushered in a new sense of peace.

Oddly, we don’t find happiness by chasing it. We don’t find it by wishing our pain away, or by following some set of doctrine outside ourselves. I believe one way that we find happiness is by having the courage to embrace inquiry and skepticism about the very beliefs and doctrine we let occupy our mind space.

The Second Book of the Yoga sutras explains that there are five kleshas, or afflictions that keep us from resting in happiness right now. They are:

1.       Avidya — The inability to see things for what they really are. Our subjective reality. It is spiritual delusion.

2.       Asmita — An innocence of who and what we are. An over-identification with the ego.

3.       Raga — Desire or addiction to pleasure. This looks like us staying in our comfort zones, looking for “shiny objects” or soothing beliefs to provide our happiness. It’s the tendency to escape the way it is in the moment and pop into the future. “Life will be better when. . .” Raga is greedy, grabby and anxious. It’s a hungry sensation.

4.       Dvesha — Aversion to pain. This is the idea that some things are too painful to experience. It’s refusing to stay in this moment, to accept the way things are. Dvesha is running away from things we don’t like.

5.       Abhinivesha — The fear of death and clinging to life. Nothing will keep you from happiness in this moment faster than pushing it off to a future imagined heaven.

Faith is a hard one for me. If I put faith in certain beliefs, how will I ever know if they if they aren’t true? Does my sheer belief in them make them true because I use my subjective reality as confirmation bias? Yet, my gut tells me through experience and wisdom that there’s something I just might be able to put some faith in. I suspect that I experience a taste of something real when I meditate without resistance, when I look carefully and openly at the contents of my mind. So, I tentatively and bravely invest a bit of faith in the idea that choosing reality and truth (as much as I am able to see them clearly) over self-soothing will bring me to happiness. I gently believe that if I have the courage to question that which I hold dear, it will lead me to sukha, “sweetness, and happiness.

And then, I just can’t help but ask myself if my faith is wise, or if it’s just another way to self-soothe and run through the same cycle I’ve been through so many times before. I remind myself that I’ve seen it happen — when I am happy it’s because of my ability to see clearly in this moment, to experience peace beyond these five afflictions of experience. In the end, as I navigate my subjective thoughts, feelings, and experiences, this messy method of truth hunting is all I’ve got. Brutal self-honesty, and the simple questions, “Is it working for me? Are these beliefs making a real difference in my life?” have brought me to a place of fearlessness and peace that I had never experienced before. It’s good. For today, it’s enough.


So I have some big questions for you this week:

  • Is your current set of beliefs bringing you happiness? Do you believe that truth will bring you to happiness? Should it?
  • Is it fair to judge a set of religious beliefs and practices by their ability to deliver you into happiness?
  • If you believe in something enough, do you find evidence to make it true? What reality checks or quality controls do you have for your beliefs?
  • What’s a person to do when their current religious practices don’t deliver what they promise?
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