Parenthood Juggle: Full-time mom/part-time rocket scientist?

Only since September, when I participated in measuring the noise from a solid rocket motor, have I been able to claim the “rocket scientist” title, but it’s been almost 13 years since I got my Ph.D. in physics and watched my path to part-time physicist unfold.

My story begins, as for most girls, with my mom, and her mom too, I guess.   My mom left college after one year to be my stay-at-home mom.     My grandma had worked while my mom was young.   My mom had really not liked the babysitters, etc. and had decided no matter what she would be home.   While she never regretted that decision as her six children came along, she was deeply sorry that she did not get to finish school.   She instilled in us desires to be home with our own children and to get an education.

When I was an undergrad, I had no set ambitions for a career.  I took it one decision at a time, graduated with a B.S. in Physics from BYU, served a mission, came back and started grad school.   My first year of graduate school at the University of Utah put me in the right place to marry my husband and showed me I could do well enough in grad school.  We both transferred to the Ph.D. program in the Physics Dept. at UT Austin. My decision to begin research in acoustics felt right, but I still did not know how long I would continue.

I was pregnant with my first child when I defended my research prospectus and took my last core classes. Because I felt strongly that I needed to be my child’s primary caregiver, I prepared myself mentally to finish with a Master’s degree.  When I had to go on bedrest for the last six weeks because of preeclampsia, my Ph.D. advisor let me take a computer home so I could work. This opened the way for me to continue.  I did research from home, went in late after my husband was home, or took my daughter to a babysitter one or two afternoons a week.  Not the traditional or most efficient path, but it worked out.

When I received my Ph.D., I had a 2 ½ year old and wanted another baby; again, the next step was not clear. Then I was offered a half-time post-doctoral research position (post-doc) at the lab where I had done my dissertation work and allowed to still do part of my time at home. Who has ever heard of such a thing?! Whenever I see the lab director who agreed to this unusual position, I make sure to thank him for being so flexible.  I had my son during the first year of this post-doc.

After the second year of my post-doc, my husband took his second post-doc at LSU. No acoustics there, pregnant with my third child, I prepared myself to quit. Then my employer in Austin allowed me to finish the third year of my post-doc as a 1/4-time position telecommuting from Baton Rouge! Unbelievable.   When that year was up, with three small children, I was able to telecommute 10 hours per week on a different project for a couple of years as we finished our stay in Louisiana and moved to Utah, where my husband became a physics professor at BYU.

The BYU Physics Department hired me as an adjunct, and I taught 1-3 classes a year (only ever one at a time) for the next 4 years until my youngest entered kindergarten.   By this time my health precluded the addition of more children and my telecommuting job had ended. I began looking for new research opportunities in the acoustics research group.   Although none of them was in my previous area of underwater acoustics, there was plenty of work to be done and grant money to support my time. I spent several years learning enough to be useful on the new projects analyzing the noise from jets and rockets and have thoroughly enjoyed it.   I never thought I would be able to participate in meaningful research on a part-time basis.

I thought it was impossible to be a part-time physicist. However, by one small miracle at a time I was able to keep at least a toe in the door for the first ten years of being a mom.  It was difficult with each birth and each move to bring myself to the point where I was willing to stop working because of my desire to be a mostly stay-at-home mom. But I am grateful for these exercises in humility because I have been able to see the Lord’s hand in such a direct way.   I feel so very blessed to be able to have a job I love, which allows me the flexibility to be around when my kids are home from school AND have the great personal satisfaction of learning new things, teaching, and working with such wonderful people.

The issues of balancing a career and motherhood are not unique to the LDS culture.   In my interactions with female scientists of different ages, I have found that the younger women, who have grown up expecting to have a successful career, want to see examples of female scientists with children.   Whenever anyone bemoans the attrition of female students from the physical and mathematical sciences as they progress through the education pipeline, I have one piece of advice for them.   Show them it is possible to be a successful scientist and a mother. Today, more than ever it is possible. Computers and telecommuting have opened up so many possibilities!

I sincerely hope that all women proceed with faith, confidence and optimism:   faith that the Lord loves them and is mindful of them; confidence in their ability to receive personal inspiration every step of the way; and optimism that if they follow the guidance they receive, they will be able to do wonderful things and have joy.