There is a story among my people of the time before. It is a story meant to answer the youthful questions: “Who am I? What am I? Where do I come from? Where am I going?” It is a story meant to bind the heart of a child to my people. It is also a story of alienation, subjugation and external redemption.
You are three beings in one, my child. A young physical being, an ancient spiritual being, and a timeless being of intelligence. Before this life on earth you lived with God and were merely a union of two, eagerly awaiting your third. Before that but one, an uncreated being of individuated thought — an intelligence. In God’s image you were added to and combined, and brought lovingly into the house of God.
“Why can’t I see him?” Because he has sent you away from him. By leaving God’s presence for a time and coming to me here on earth, you were made three and one; a being of intelligence, spirit, and flesh. A child of God. “But I look like you!” Yes, and we look like God. “So God looks like me?” Yes, dear. “Will I grow-up to be like God?” I hope you do because this is the reason God created you and sent you to me. We’ll work on becoming like God together for this is the only way to return to his loving presence. “Why can’t I remember?” Because forgetting is part of God’s plan.
The story continues with a warning, that the natural man is an enemy to God.
Who is this natural man?
It is the physical body, the third and final accretion of godhood; a being believed by my people to be formed of clay and fashioned to resemble the body of its creator. The creator, known to my people as Elohim, or God, is said to have placed the breath of life into this body of clay and commanded it to arise and obey its master or die. In Jewish tradition, one from which my people borrow heavily, this being is Golem.
I share this story with you for a reason. I want you to understand my people.
When an elder of my people speaks his mind before the great council, it must be understood in light of the stories that my people tell to our children. He believes that the physical body was created as a tabernacle for his divinity-bound soul, a means to the end of his creation, a beast of divine burden which must be made to submit to the will of the spirit and intelligence within as they strive for unity with the maker. Submit or die. Any resistance, any rebellion of the flesh must be understood as a test and gauntlet of divine becoming and nothing more.
This elder of my people was very obviously once a boy and, perhaps not so obviously, a boy who was told stories by those who he likely held to be nigh unto gods. It matters not that observers of my people may charitably find such stories to be a fanciful yet useful fiction, nor that a child may eventually find the storytellers to be mostly human. Children will take the stories of their people as truth and the perception of truth is a powerful tool for shaping the mind. Though a child eventually disappears into the world of grown beings, he will continue to see the world through a mind crafted by stories, some of which teach that his flesh, this Golem, is an enemy to all that is good, and remains so until death yields its rest and God the promised and divine homecoming.
There is a story among my people which teaches children that Golem makes them gods and devils.
Golem is the horror that we find in the simultaneous worship and fear of self.
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NOTES:
- The Image – Golem by KD Matheson is one among a broader collection of digital art found at CGSociety: Society of Digital Artists. The following description is included:
Golem is an ancient Hebrew name for a magical creature that is created from clay and earth, then brought to life through the use of kabbalistic incantations and prayers.
Throughout history, stories of the Golem have been known in biblical literature, jewish folklore, and even into modern day film and literature — one of the most famous versions being Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein.
- Resources – Special thanks to Wikipeda with its wonderfully detailed and link-rich articles, and to all of my colleagues here on Doves & Serpents: your phenomenal abilities as writers and editors are an inspiration to me.
- About – Cipher on a Wall is a weekly column and forum here on Doves & Serpents which explores the realm of mind, memories, and dreams. You can find an introductory post for Cipher on a Wall here and a full archive of posts here. My name is Matt, and I’ll be your host for the duration.
- Updates – the approach we’ll be taking with Cipher on a Wall is to encourage lively and ongoing discussion throughout the week between each Saturday edition. To help with this I’ll be returning to each post and adding updates in the form of additional thoughts, observations, related news, elevation of comments, links, additional resources. etc. Just know there will be updates so it’ll be worth checking back occasionally throughout the week.
I don’t really have anything constructive to add to this in the comments, but still I just wanted to say that I really reading this quite a lot. I’ve actually read it several times. Very good.
Thank you for telling me, Lovelyn. :)
This post is magnificent Matt. Like Lovelyn, I’ve been pondering it all day and trying to think of something to add. I have never considered this angle of our perception of earthly existence, but you have captured this duality so well. I really wish I knew more Hebrew, as it always seems that there is a word that captures a concept or feeling with so much more clarity than English.
Aww, Corktree. Thank you. :D
First of all, I love the image… just mesmerising.
About the idea of the physicality that makes us ‘gods and devils’ – this is a really interesting and important duality to consider. I’ve always felt that the LDS temple ceremony particularly emphasises the importance of the physical body in the divine plan… but you’re right that it is also connected to the warning about the ‘natural man’.
Your final line is haunting: do we find horror in the worship of self? Fear is something that I think I can more easily identify in my own efforts to live in this physical realm… but you’ve given me lots of food for thought!
PS – the story and quotation at the beginning of the post – is that taken from the book ‘Before I Was Born?’ My Mum had a copy, and it seems to ring a bell…?
Thank you, Andy. I’ve long felt the horror that arises from the notion that one is not entirely oneself — what I’m saying is that Mormon children are raised to believe that they are multiple beings; intelligence, spiritual, flesh … and that perhaps intelligence is the only aspect that is truly self. That’s how I felt about it anyway. This would suggest a religious notion of symbiosis; a parasite/host relationship where the golem needs the spirit and visa-versa.
I think as biological beings we have a natural aversion to being host to a parasite, probably arising from the potential for being short-changed in the bargain. But, surprisingly, it turns out that the physical body is a compound of symbiotic relationships … that symbiosis is what the body is through and through. So in a strictly biological sense, we feel horror at what we actually are. Crazy.
What I’m driving at here in sum is a sense of acceptance, both for the wholeness rather than divided-ness of self and of that aspect of our natures that drive us to see ourselves as divided and in conflict. Ultimately, that we’re often tempted to fear aspects of ourselves out of ignorance — that source of all fear.
Oh, and PS … that quotation is a fabrication. But “Before I Was Born” no doubt played a huge role in how it came out here. I know that book. The author is George Bickerstaff, right? I used to pour over it as kid and was always fascinated, haunted really, by the blue hued art. I still see the kids tying a tin can to a cat’s tail, and the handsome yet menacing look of Lucifer.