I’ve read a number of challenge books this year. You know what I mean-a new genre seems to have emerged wherein the author decides to do something for a whole year and then write a book about it. Someone publishes it. And then I buy it and read it. (Why didn’t I think of doing this myself?)
I’ve read or watched:
- A Year Without “Made In China”: One Family’s True Life Adventure In The Global Economy
- Eat, Pray, Love
- A Year With Eleanor
- Julie And Julia
- Super Size Me
- Flunking Sainthood: A Year Of Breaking The Sabbath, Forgetting To Pray And Still Loving My Neighbor
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And would like to read:
- A Year Of Living Biblically
- A Year Of Biblical Womanhood (this one gives me the heebie jeebies)
- The Guinea Pig Diaries: My Life As An Experiment
- The Know-It-All
- A Year Without Shopping
- Give It Up!: My Year Of Learning To Live Better With Less
- The 100 Thing Challenge: How I Got Rid Of Almost Everything, Remade My Life, And Regained My Soul
- Just Do It: How One Couple Turned Off The TV And Turned On Their Sex Lives For 101 Days (Just kidding, I probably won’t read this one. It makes me tired. And besides, we don’t watch TV.)
But the one that has stuck with me the most was The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. Rubin, a lawyer by trade, chewed through all sorts of research about what makes people happy and then decided to test out the research findings for herself. She chose one area to focus on each month of the year and created a chart to track her progress.
I’m all about a project. And if it involves lists and goals and TRACKING SHEETS, all the better. I read some of the book aloud to Brent and he said we should do it together. So we sat down over Thanksgiving weekend to talk about what areas of “happiness research” we wanted to pursue. Rubin suggests the following questions as a starting point:
- What makes you feel good? What activities do you find fun, satisfying, or energizing?
- What makes you feel bad? What are sources of anger, irritation, boredom, frustration, or anxiety in your life?
- Is there any way in which you don’t feel right about your life? Do you wish you could change jobs, cities, family situation, or other circumstances? Are you living up to your expectations for yourself? Does your life reflect your values?
- Do you have sources of an atmosphere of growth? In what areas of your life do you find progress, learning, challenge, improvement, and increased mastery?
Brent wanted to just start-in November (whah? I had already envisioned The Happiness Project 2012 in my mind . . . starting in November 2011 just doesn’t make sense, right??). And then he suggested that we do it willy nilly-just pick a goal and start on it and let the next month’s goal emerge organically (whah? I was planning on creating a list for the whole year and sticking to it, nothing wavering).
And then it dawned on me that this attitude of mine-this need to plan and control-is a problem. It keeps me from doing things. It may even subtract from my overall happiness, darnit.
So I’m throwing caution to the wind (I’m such a rebel) and starting my Happiness Project 201211 in December. And Brent and I are doing it together until we stop doing it together. And I don’t know what I’ll do in January. (Shhh . . . I’m thinking of pledging to not yell at my children because I’ll be in Costa Rica for half of the month!)
After a very brief conversation regarding where to start, we easily settled on sleep deprivation as the thing that detracts the most from our happiness right now. So we are going to try to remedy that in December. I will keep track using some combination of tools on Rubin’s blog unless I decide to use a piece of paper instead. I’ll see you at the end of December to let you know if I’ve discovered that a secret to (my) happiness is getting enough sleep.
So what about you? What do you think of these challenge books? Thumbs up or thumbs down? Have you read any?
What do you think of the idea of a Happiness Project? If you were to start a Happiness Project, where might you start?
I can recommend any of AJ Jacobs books, he always knows how to make his subject material accessible (even when it’s the encyclopedia!) and real at the same time. Also, I wanted to say, don’t be scared of The Year of Biblical Womanhood. You’ll find it much less heebie-jeebie provoking than it sounds. (I’m basing this on the fact that I regularly read the author’s blog and she’s not creepy at all.)
Oh, and I picked up Just Do It in the bookstore one day and it was more interesting than you’d imagine. I didn’t buy it though, as I was with my dad and anything sex-related is deeply worrying to him when it comes to his daughters ;-)
Great recommendations, Saskia! Thanks!
I read ‘A Year of Living Biblically’ and found it to be an interesting and at times humourous read. It also had some parts that made me sad for his wife (I can’t believe she put up with some of the stuff she did)! As far as The Happiness Project, I’m all for more happiness, but I doubt with my ADD I would stay focused enough to plan, chart and follow through an entire year of mini projects without getting stressed about the thing that’s supposed to alleviate stress and ultimately bring me happiness, haha! I’d be interested to see where it takes you though. I’ll live vicariously through your project. :)
No kidding, Lexi–that’s definitely a danger for me . . . stressing out about how I would do it (which is totally counter to the whole point, right). We’ll see how it goes. Brent and I will have to go to bed earlier tonight, since it’s Nov. 30. ;)
I ground to a halt on The Year of Living Biblically about halfway. Despite all AJ Jacobs’ sincerity, I felt like I was being made fun of. It also felt really New York-y, which I have a low tolerance for.
You may be on to something with letting your Happiness project grow organically, the descriptions of tracking sheets and online tools made me have a panic attack a little.
Hehe! Me too. I always feel a sense of elation when I start planning something, which is quickly followed by despair and I can’t do this feelings. I do much better if I let things develop organically and intuitively.
What if the answer to numbers 1 and 2 above are the same? My kids, definitely. Love them and sometimes can’t stand them.
Sounds like an interesting book, though. I’ll have to give it a read :)
Very funny, Dayna! I agree!
It really was a fun book to read. It was interesting to read about what someone else might really enjoy–and might not enjoy.
Heather, you might consider reading the newly released Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman. He devotes a section of his book to happiness studies. He suggests that how we experience happiness in real time and how we remember it are very different. He mentioned randomly sent iPhone surveys which attempt to monitor real time happiness and then look for correlations. I signed up for the surveys at http://www.trackyourhappiness.org/ and have found them helpful in assessing what does and does not make me happy.
I’m a huge Martin Seligman fan, so Authentic Happiness is up at the top of my list. His newest concept is “flourish”. Another great read that has lots of research is The Happiness Hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt. Rubin lists both these authors in her inspiration section.
If you’ve never checked out the Authentic Happiness website, it’s fun b/c there are lots of quizzes. (http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/Default.aspx) One quiz I use a lot in therapy is the VIA Survey of Character Strengths. I think it would help you get some insight into your first two questions. Heather, I think you might like it from an education perspective in helping students identify their strengths, how to use them to be successful in school, as well.