Pursuing Youth and Beauty: Why You Should Never Stop

Today’s guest post comes to us from Bella Swan.

A few short years after my husband, Edward, turned me into a vampire, I was asked to come up with a fundraiser and present it in a PTA meeting at Renesmee’s school, where everyone seemed obsessed with staying young.

As I stood next to a blue cafeteria chair and glanced down at the women, some with babies on their arms and circles under their eyes, others with so much makeup you could scoop it off with a spoon, I decided to be considerate and not propose the dance I had envisioned based on the Fame theme song, “I’m gonna live forever.” After all, I didn’t have to worry about aging, dying, or keeping up my looks. And I didn’t want to cause needless hurt. So I organized a fun fair with a dunk tank instead.

Two years later, however, when Rosalie took over the direction of the PTA, she stole my idea by making eternal youth the theme of an adult only dance.  She was no stranger to the pressure to stay beautiful.   A vampire much older than I, she had grown up with a demanding father who cared only about her appeal to men. She knew how important looking young was to these women and Rosalie believed in the redeeming quality of symmetrical beauty. After seeing these mothers work to outdo each other, I could tell they believed in it too.

This was a turning point for me. I understood how short-sighted I’d been not to let these women dress up and show how gorgeous they could be. Staying young and attractive forever wasn’t something they were capable of, but they could still work toward it.

In the anti-feminist culture, we like to emphasize physical perfection. It’s found on the cover of YA books like Paranormalcy and Firelight, this image of a lovely young girl with soft eyes, a small nose, and silky long hair blown back by a wind machine. And you know these girls have at least two guys fighting over them at all times. They never look old or tired or ragged even after falling off a cliff, or skirmishing with a dragon, or being chased by rabid fairies. That is the ideal we’re working toward.

When I scan the faces in my school’s PTA, or any group of women to be honest, not many people live up to this ideal. I notice women with big crooked noses, scraggly hair, pimples at 35, mothers who need to lose some weight, and people with humongous feet. There are women who have mustaches under their noses which they don’t bother to wax or pluck clean, and others with transparent lashes who do not see the need to put on eyeliner or mascara. Some bodies are voluptuous while others have no curves at all.

After Edward changed me to a vampire, I felt betrayed by the ideal of physical perfection. After all, I did everything I could to guarantee myself eternal good looks. First, I spent time alone with an older man. Second, I dated him behind my father’s back. Then I encouraged him to watch me sleep and let him know I’d rather die than live without him. I’d always believed that if you put yourself out there, good things will happen. 1+1=2, or to be clear, lying to your family, plus trusting a vampire who could just as easily kill you as love you, equals eternal good looks! That is what I believed.

Regretfully, I was far from ideally beautiful after Edward changed me. For starters, I couldn’t be near another person without feeling the need to cover my canines, the redness of my eyes, the predatory sway of my walk, even the glow of my sparkling skin. What had I done to deserve this?

I only needed to look back at my old childhood books to be reminded that stories like The Ugly Duckling started with the opposite of beauty. And to notice that despite this, the dowdy little bird continued to work toward a standard of ideal attractiveness.

Years ago a woman’s worth was measured by beauty alone, like in the book of Esther where the most physically attractive of Jewish girls had the power to save her people. But in an effort to be PC, feminism has discarded beautiful role models, and replaced them with “accomplished” women like Jane Goodall.

If no one can live up to the ideal of perfect beauty, should we just forget about reaching it? When I saw the excited eyes of the PTA women at that dance, I thought, “absolutely not!” If parents don’t show their female children how perfect a body and face can be, who else will? We need to tell them it is possible to have shiny hair, bright eyes, flawless skin, plus perfect measurements, and if you weren’t born with all of that, find a way to get there for the benefit of your daughter.

We hold to the ideal of physical perfection for the exact same reason we use a measuring stick to make a pastry roll. It gives us a standard that is fixed. And working toward it will bring us more joy than if we heed to worldly philosophies.

Carlisle, the wisest vampire I know, in addressing a room full of discontented female patients back in 1989, said, “We must do what is best for our children, not what is best for our self-esteem. We must hold to a standard of physical perfection. Give me your tens, your twenties, your thousands, and I will straighten your crooked nose, give you a face lift, and tuck your tummy. Let us look upon the ugly among us with discernment and sympathy, however, always understanding that not all women have the funds and ideals to be beautiful. Regardless, we must uphold this standard. Never abandon it. Never let it die, because the future of humanity rides on this.”

As always, I know he’s right. The future of humanity rides on us.