True Confessions

In August, I underwent a 40-hour training to become a CASA and wrote about it here.   There were about eight of us in the training from a wide range of backgrounds-younger, older, retired, recently graduated, middle-aged (me!), young professionals, etc.   It was a great group of people.   The training covered all sorts of things, from court-related paperwork to what to do on a home visit to being culturally sensitive to being aware of signs of abuse, etc.

The objective one night was to try to understand what it’s like for kids when they get removed from their homes and placed in a foster home. We learned that every time children get moved to a new home, it sets them back developmentally by approximately six months. I swallowed hard when I heard that-imagining that there are children who get moved and moved and moved again-and they might be sitting next to my living-a-charmed-life-kids in school.

The teacher (one of my former students, so cool!) asked us to take out a sheet of paper and draw a big circle on it.   Inside the circle, we were supposed to free write-anything that described our families and homes:   traditions, meal times, hobbies, décor, favorite activities, family rules, etc.   So I started filling mine up with random tidbits about our family/house:

Stacks of books and papers everywhere; Markers, pens, colored pencils; Evidence of many ongoing projects; Board games; Puzzles; Book shelves; No TV watching during meals; Reading books at night before bed; No pets!; Piles of laundry in various stages of folding; All the dishes must be completely done immediately after dinner; Etc.

After we finished, she asked us to leave our papers in our spots, but to get up and move 3 seats down. After we sat down, she said, “Okay.   This is your family now. You have one minute to read over it.”   Then she asked us to introduce the group to our “new families.”   So we each took turns describing the family on the circle we were now holding.   When my classmate got to my circle, she started reading down the list. When she got to “No pets,” she read it aloud, but then stopped and said, “Wait, what?   No pets?   What do you mean, ‘no pets’?” I laughed and said, “I mean, ‘no pets.’ I don’t like pets. We don’t have pets.”

And then it got really quiet. All eyes were on me. I could feel myself losing points with my fellow trainees as they took in this new piece of information about me.

And then someone said, “Okay, but if you go over to someone’s house and their dog comes over and jumps on you or licks you, you’re okay with that, right?” And I said, “It’s actually really not my favorite if I go over to someone’s house and their dog licks me or jumps on me or sniffs my butt.   No, I don’t love that at all.”

Crickets.

Thinking I could fix it by talking more (a nervous habit?), I added, “My life is so very very full with my job and my kids and my husband who works an hour and a half away, I just can’t even contemplate adding an animal to the mix. I can’t have one more person or thing that needs me to clean it, clean up after it, feed it, bathe it, pay attention to it, nothing.   If it doesn’t have human DNA, it can’t come into my house.”

That didn’t help me gain back any of my lost points. So then I joked, “But it’s really okay. I’m still a nice person.   I can still be a good CASA.” Everyone (sort of) laughed uncomfortably and then, after another awkward pause or two, we moved on to the next person.

I showed up the next night for training with a feeling of trepidation. As everyone gathered and made small talk and got cups of coffee, one of the trainees said, “Heather, I just wanted to tell you how brave I thought you were last night.”   I was totally confused, so I said, “Me, brave?   What do you mean?”   And he said, “Oh, I thought it was really brave of you to admit that you don’t like animals.”

Sheesh.   I couldn’t believe we were back to that again. So then someone laughed (sort of) and said, “Oh, no!   We’re talking about how Heather doesn’t like animals again?”   Yes, we were talking about how Heather doesn’t like animals again.

So there you have it, folks. I don’t love animals. I’ll go to the zoo once every couple years and the aquarium once (maybe twice) per decade, but I don’t want them in my house. Luckily, liking pets was not a prerequisite to become a CASA, so I was able to complete the training despite that obvious character flaw.

So, are you an animal lover? Do you look askance at people like me who freely admit that we don’t like animals? Would you still trust me with your children?   ;)

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