Welcome to our All Tina, All the Time week here at Doves & Serpents. For an explanation of why we’re examining her new book Bossypants from a variety of angles – parenting, friendship, spirituality, humor and so forth – check out Heidi’s explanation.
Technically, the ‘secret of success’ section in her book Bossypants, the book we’re discussing EVERY DAY THIS WEEK!, is entitled “The Rules of Improvisation That Will Change Your Life and Reduce Belly Fat”. And I’m fine with changing my life while I’m at it. I’m not only interested in belly fat!
ETA: the chapter’s fine print includes this caveat: “*Improv will not reduce belly fat.” Sigh.
Heck, even without the promise of a flab-free gut, we all want to know what Tina Fey’s secret is. Her stealth climb to success has been a hugely inspirational boon for a) women, b) feminists, c) non-yellow haired people and d) any human being who likes to laugh. The success of Bossypants – and, in all honesty, the simple fact that she could publish a book with a cover her dad doesn’t think is a great idea – validates for me that there is something to be learned from former SNL headwriter/screenwriter/Emmy award-winning actress and all-around brilliant mind behind “30 Rock”. She’s not just a pretty (librarian) face. She’s on to something that I want to be on to!
Curtis Sittenfeld made the following spot-on observation in her review of Bossypants over at the New York Times (but did they spend a week on this book? Don’t think so!): “this is the magic of Tina Fey: With her brown hair and her glasses and her nice-seeming husband who’s shorter than she is, she seems like one of us, like me or my friends or my sisters (as my sister, Jo, put it in an e-mail, “I love her because she’s like me but funnier”), at the same time that she’s ridiculously successful and famous. And on top of that, she’s just how we’d want to be, just how we’d imagine ourselves, if we were ridiculously successful and famous.”
“She’s just how we’d want to be.” I second that emotion. Fey’s got it going on. And she’s swell enough to share her rules with the rest of us in Bossypants. She got her showbiz start in improv, traveling in a van with Chicago’s famous Second City improvisation troupe to exciting places like Waco, Texas, putting on shows in gyms and hotel conference rooms, or so I assume from watching “30 Rock”, which frequently flashes back to improv shows, all of ’em filled with bored and/or surly audience members. Fey may be basking in the universe’s adulation right now, but she knows what it feels like to spend the night at a Kansas City Ramada Inn.
These rules are deceptively simple but also profound, with application for the rest of us non-Improv troupe folks.
1. AGREE. Always agree and SAY YES.
Such a rule means that you should try to “respect what your partner has created” even if you don’t agree. Even if agreement is slow in coming, Fey notes that rule #1 helps you “start from an open-minded place.” The kind of open-minded place Lorne Michaels was in when he hired Fey to be the first female head writer of “Saturday Night Live”, am I right?
One of my favorite moments from a recent “30 Rock” episode features Tina Fey’s character Liz Lemon explaining that she is trying to implement rule #1 in her own life, shouting happily that said rule implementation means, “Say yes to staying in!” Do I even need to add that “Say yes to staying in!” is my new mantra? Especially if staying in = reading Bossypants.
2. Say YES, AND.
Once that ‘yes’ is outta your mouth, well, “Don’t be afraid to contribute,” Fey adds, even if your addition to the scene is a line like “I told you we shouldn’t have crawled into this dog’s mouth.” (Mouth to mouth?) Guru Fey says you (meaning all of us) should “always make sure you’re adding something to the discussion”, which is a challenge we’ve taken to heart this week.
3. MAKE STATEMENTS.
Fey points out that her #3 rule can be useful for women who might be stuck in an ‘apologetic question’ rut. What she’s trying to tell me, I think, is to drop the socialized nonsense that makes me want to frost every cake with niceness, cushion every thought with sweetness. ‘Cause nope, that’s not how Tina does it. (Do you mind if we call you Tina? You do? Okay. Thank you for stating that so clearly, Ms. Fey.)
4. THERE ARE NO MISTAKES, only opportunities.
This concept is downright Zen, isn’t it? Think about it for a second, really hard. (I am.) Only opportunities? Why that means that I can continue to have hope, even when it seems like life isn’t going my way. My Feyth in the possibility of the universe has been restored. Fey’s #4 rule was refined in the crucible of on-stage performances (like this hilarious reenactment of one!) and likely honed in her years making live television – and it works for me too.
Or will, just as soon as I SAY YES!
And while I’m not going to ask if you have any rules to add to Ms. Fey’s (wholly perfect and complete) rule list, I am curious if any of you’ve found ways to reduce belly fat? (Giggle!)
Oh, and by the way, here is a nifty Tina Fey interview where she chats about this book AND this section on The Rules of Improvisation.
As a slowly recovering perfectionist, my first reaction is always to say no — unless I know that I am going to do something well/perfectly and I am completely comfortable. I love this idea. Even if something doesn’t end up working or isn’t what you want, I love the idea of holding some space for ideas/people/new experiences/being foolish/not doing something well in my head and heart and saying yes before I reject it.
Curtis Sittenfeld made the following spot-on observation in her review of Bossypants over at the New York Times (but did they spend a week on this book? Don’t think so!): “this is the magic of Tina Fey: With her brown hair and her glasses and her nice-seeming husband who’s shorter than she is, she seems like one of us, like me or my friends or my sisters (as my sister, Jo, put it in an e-mail, “I love her because she’s like me but funnier”), at the same time that she’s ridiculously successful and famous. And on top of that, she’s just how we’d want to be, just how we’d imagine ourselves, if we were ridiculously successful and famous.”
Ha! This is well said. I kept looking for the cracks to appear in Bossypants, places where I might not like her as much as I thought I did. I’ve ended up liking her even more.
two things i really like about this:
1) i like that Bossypants offers an inspirational boon for “non-yellow haired people”
2) and i like when you say “pretty (librarian) face.”
we need to have bagels and Bossypants talks soon. i hadn’t finished the book last time we chatted. also, my mother gave me Boggle, the word game. we should play.
I this! Thanks for the laugh!
Yay! I love this. What is this Doves and Serpents of which you are a part???
Now I want to read the book, too. I like it that “she could publish a book with a cover her dad doesn’t think is a great idea” because that cover is HIDEOUS . . . yet strangely compelling . . .
Sweet column, Erin.
Oooh, glad you found Doves & Serpents, Becca! It’s a fun place. I like to hang out here.
I think Fey likes to laugh in the face of expectations about attractiveness. I mean, she’s gorgeous! But she doesn’t have to show a gorgeous photo of herself on the cover of her memoir!